Twas the night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through this place,
Not a thing was moving except for me, my bat, and a can full of mace.
I crouched by the fireplace with my bat in the air,
Knowing that the same fat burglar soon would be there.

My wife got the 12 gauge, and Double 00 buckshot to boot.
Ready to pull the trigger on the guy stealing the loot.
With my daughter and wife safe in the back room,
If he made it that far, she’d make it go boom.

Keeping my vigil, awake through the night.
I’m rubbing my eyes so as not to lose sight,
I listen real close and hear that same noise,
The same bells as last year when he got away with my toys.

Then through my wandering Winchester .270 scope did I peer,
To see that same fat guy, (the one with the white beard)
Looting and pillaging from house to house with his deer,
I decide I have to stop him right now and right here.

As I aim for his deer and squeeze off a round, then four and then eight,
I see pictures of red nosed Christmas dinner, so perfect on my plate.
Down went Dasher and Dancer, bull’s-eye Prancer and Vixen! Nailed Comet,
(reload)
Got cupid. There went Donner and Blitzen!


As I watched the sleigh go down, I knew I'd not finished the fight,
For through the scope, indeed the fatty wasn’t in sight
I put the gun down and went for the mace and the bat,
For I doubted the old fart would go down as easy as that.

For the rest of the night by the chimney I rested,
Hoping this time the enemy was bested.
Hearing the shot’s, my wife then crept out.
Asked if it was safe and then we heard him shout:

You got my sleigh, all my deer, even my red nosed fawn,
But next year I’ll be back without the bells on.

So now so safe and so sound, tucked in after that fright,
Merry Christmas to all, without Santa in sight.

All I want to do is jump over the cubicle wall, shine a flashlight in my coworker eyes and scream "TELL ME, WHERE ARE YOUR REBEL FRIENDS NOW!! BUWWHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!"

It's so not my fault either. She's got cookies over there and she is only letting me have one every other hour!
I think she's a control freak. Actually she's not, I'm just getting anxiety attacks for the lack of cookies. They're even the assorted kind that came in the little tin.
TORTURE!


Totally a Thursday that needs to be a friday.

Takin a break to blab

Sometimes after work (especially like after a day when I had to pull designs out of places that I didn't know I had) I feel like all the creative juices were sucked outta me like a helium ballon at a ten year old's birthday party.

speaking of,

I miss birthday presents. Not like I dont get any presents anymore but do you remember the exact time when toys were replaced by underwear for christmas? It's like an age of reckoning. I miss the GI JOE guys and the rca cars and the hotwheels and all the stuff like that.

On the other hand I would bet that my beloved would argue quite passionately about the number of so called "toys" that I have amassed since we have been married and at this time I would like to point out quite clearly that there is a difference between a TOOL and a TOY. A difference, I fear, that is beyond the comprehension of the female gender of our species.

Although......
The saying goes the bigger the boy the bigger the toy and by some rights I might have proved that true as my favorite toy has a 4.6L straight six under the hood. So I guess I could go out the garage twice a year and rewrap my jeep with newspaper and put a bow on it for myself every birthday and christmas.

That would be a LOT of newspaper.

Then instead of screaming "thank you!" I would scream "thank me!", which would be kinda weird but not all that out of the ordanary.

My beloved's family thanksgiving was back in Illinois, (which, by the way, I have noticed that anywhere south or west of St Louis that the silent S at the end comes very much alive) so the Iddy bitty had quite a weekend road trip. It was very much worth the trip to see everyone again but probably the last one for a while.

welp...
I better get back to work.

heeeeeeeeeeeres's abby

My wife wants it to be made known that there was absolutely no nagging WHATSOEVER involved in the production of this blog. She states, "I'm merely passing (rather fervently, I might add) along multiple requests from faithful blog readers who demand an update."

right

So, without further delay, here's the most beautiful little girl in the world:

not that I'm biased or anything...

Captains log

Stardate: day after yesterday, but not quite tomorrow.

As we set our course for tomorrow I realize that yesterday I had the same heading and and should of been to tomorrow by today but since yesterday WAS today yesterday, then tomorrow SHOULD of been today!

But it’s not.

That’s tomorrow.

So I’ll wait for tomorrow to get here.
So today can be yesterday.

I’ll always know where I’ve been, but never quite know when I get to where I’m going.


ABBY BLURB!
How can I describe how or what I feel when I look into those great big blue eyes? So completely trusting. Crying greatbighuge tears when someone else has her. But when mom or dad holds her just like that the tears gone. (unless she’s crabby, then all bets are off) Even with her eyes closed, It’s like she knows what it feels like when we hold her versus someone else.

I am a night owl. It’s my “energytime” (yeah I made that word up, kinda like the word thibbit but not really) if I have not had a day that took it all already. So to unwind, if I’m not already unraveled, I get to feed and hold her till she falls asleep. I find that after she fades to dreams that I still need to hold tight till she goes completely limp or else she will fuss as soon as she gets in the crib.

But if I wait, she won’t even need a pacifier. She doesn’t even move when I put her into her crib.

I love it.

In other news, NOTHING else is new. This is why I haven’t written in like FOREVER.

Wife is fine.
Work is fine.
Home is fine.
Puppies are fine.
Jeep needs fixed.
Trails need mowed.

Such is life In Kansas.

It’s been somewhere around five years now since I moved here. I don’t remember exactly when. I think about a lot of you that are reading this now. Al least the ones who still read this after a two month slumber. That’s more like a hibernation.

SIDE NOTE
I should totally change the name of this blog to sleeping bear.
OR not
yeah probably not.

Abigail Rose

have you ever been so completely over whelmed that your are even more over whelmed at thinking how over whelmed you are?

Is that even how you spell overwhelmed?
Is it one word or two?

But apparently blogspot hasn't been modified to NATIONAL cool guy standards and doesn't let mac browsers use spell check.
yeah that's right "national cool guy standards"

sow ef eye muspel stuf ets knot mi falt


Abby.

Wow.

she is so beautiful. I was half bracing myself for something to come out of my wife that didn't look anything like a baby and slowly form into one. As Bill Cosby had said "Honey, you had a lizard"
But she came out so perfect, and now comes that O word again (i'm not gonna try to spell it).

SO SO dependent.
SO SO FEMALE in a "Hold me but I don't want to be held" kinda thing. And if she falls asleep on my chest, one thing is quite clear - I AM NOT TO MOVE

which is fine with me...

unless I have to sneeze,
then we have problems

A boring life changes that quick

Word has reached my ear that I haven't written nearly enough lately.

Well I got news for you.

I'm an extreamly boring person. I know that this comes as QUITE a shock to most of you, but it's time you learn the ulgy truth. The last time something exciting happend was when...

I have been sitting here for like 5 minutes and all I can come up with is mowing the lawn. I like mowing the lawn. Execpt when it's hot.
or humid.

or hot and humid.

so I don't really like mowing the lawn.

I do like mowing paths in the hay field in the back. We have a three quarter mile path that wonders around the backyard and hayfield surrounding that I like to keep golf green short. Less chance to step on a rattlesnake.

Anyhoo I have tortured some of you long enough. The reason for this post is something super exciting FINALLY did happen last tuesday. My daughter, Abigail Rose, was born. OF COURSE I have taken a bijillion pictures that probably all look the same and have sent out a mass e-mail or two, but now it's time to post at least some of them.

These are all when she was a few minutes born.



She was born 8lbs and 10oz at 22in long.



Everything on her is just so perfect. Of course I'm supposed to think and say that, but even if I didn't even know this kid, I'd totally be like: hey wow that kid is probably the cutest kid I have seen in all my life and I have seen a lot of kids.



Perfect little tiny fingernails



So this is abby.




It's been quite a week. We aren't the same people now. You might ask what's different.

I can't say that Abby is because she is the cause of the difference. I might be that we have a kid now and have no idea what we are doing or even if we knew what to do, we would know how to go about doing it. It's been hard to trust and have faith with this one because so much is at stake. Anytime I have had to act on faith of my own accord, it never was that hard because it was only me that I was putting in HIS hands. Whenever I had to act on faith and the direct outcome of my faith effected someone else it was always a little harder.

But now this

Now everything she is depends on us. Depends on upbringing. Depends on good decsion making. Dependes on the upmost faith and trust that the answer will come when we don't have one. What to do when she needs us to do whatever it is we're supposed to do.

I am the Head of this household. If my trust falters, if my faith waivers, my family will suffer.

GOD give me strenght to do this.

and he does.

and by HIS grace we continue on.



now if He could just give her grace to sleep in the night and not the day, we will be all set.
:)

Blog CPR

I cant hardly believe that it's been since March that I have written.

Two excuses I could propose-

One:
it's not my fault, life got super busy... kinda

Two
I really dont have an excuse.

a possible third could be:
wild zuchinni men from zanzabar attacked my village and burned our tapioca crops and we have been without pudding for many months now and I alone have traversed far and wide to save my people from a fate worse then tofu... yes my friends, my mother tried to feed us soy pudding. Therefore I must trek on a journey of journies to find new plants and save my village.

Except I don't live in a village, and we have a tomato plant that's not burned, and wild zuchinni men are really quite harmless. although my mother has convinced my wife to try to kill me with various soy products. But all has been forgiven.

I have been really preoccupied with the thought of becoming a father. July 11th is the pop date for those who have been wondering. And the child is a little girl. (I always wanted one of those). And hey, the dogs aren't dead yet and I haven't accidently lit them on fire or anything we've had those guys for OVER A YEAR. So I figure.. yeah why not a kid?

Also in the news on Indian Road I have killed yet another critter which I have promised my wife not to reveal the identity of in fear that our invitations to friends far and wide will decline because on the knowledge of said critter. I would say the what the butchers toll of said critter was but quite honestly I have lost count. We have called a gentleman to take care of our unwelcomed guests and aas of yesterday we could possibably might not have to worry about nighttime visitors anymore. But we will see. Please don't misunderstand me: all are welcome to our house, but not all will be left alive opon entering in.

The puppies are doing wonderful in case you were wondering. They keep gettin bigger as puppies do. I haven't weighed them in a while but the boy is at 70 pounds now I think. The girl is about 10 less then that. They have had to be reintroduced to their pen for a while as they have made a discovery at the neighbors. I have tried to drill into them that chickens are our friends, not food.... at least not until they are cooked. But puppies are puppies and will do what puppies do. And that's have as much fun as possible before getting into as much trouble as possible.

Final score:
chickens: 0
puppies: 7

but the games were darkend with two fatalities.
and yet not so much as most of the ultimate losers are in my freezer.

bad puppies
good dinner

maybe a month in the slammer will clear puppy minds of chicken dinners.
only time will tell.

Water Weather

It's been raining alot lately, not that I am complaining. I love rain, I love the cloud formations, I love the sound the rain makes. I love the way lightning highlights the clouds on a dark night. I love that we live out in the country with the back deck looking toward Oklahoma. The storms come from the south and west but mostly south.

anyhoo,

So last friday, after work, I called my beloved to tell her I was on the way home (as I usually do) and she tells me that with the rain that's been nonstop for a couple days now, that the runoff from the fields and the ditches has now flooded the front yard again.

I like it when that happens.

It reminds me of the wet season in Illinois where I grew up, we used to play in the flood waters for days on end. There was one stream that went through the town. Every year it would flood way out because of all the feilds that drained into it let alone all the streets. We would have so much fun. I remember all the parents and the village board would always hate it because they were afraid that someone would drown, but no one ever did... as far as I know. There were always the parents that made up the stories about snakes and huge catfish and stuff to keep us out of the water.

So anyhoo I'm driving home surrounded my memories and I think how fun that would be to play in the water again.

So I did.

I had so much fun.

There was two main sources that the water was coming from; one was the ditch by the road, and one was from the field behind the neighbors house. They both go under the drive way and across to the other side of the yard to where they join another current where there is runoff from a pond and another field. From there it goes under a bridge and into the land across the way. The current was enough to sweep charlie off his paws (at close to 60 pounds now) and start whining. Lucy didn't want to try it. But I'm finding out, puppies LOVE water.

Most all the water was moving, leaving little stagnant. But the thought occoured to me. Alot of runoff was coming from the ditch but not all. Meaning that half of what was in the ditch, continued the ditch.

Before I go on, you must know that I like having a lake in front of the house, I like it alot. So much so that after watching the water for a while I decieded to get my shovel.

As I was working I realised something profound. It's hard to stop water from going somewhere. I mean very hard. Water follows the path of least resistance, always. It doesn't really care about how hard you try to dam it up and even if you do it will find a path, unless you make one first.

It is aheck of a lot easier making a new path of least resistance then trying to bar the old one. If I want water to go this way instead of that, I make it easier for it to do that. Sometimes that even ment pulling a small rock out of the soil. Once that was done and the water found a new path, the current did most of the digging. Once most of the current was redirected I could pile rocks and mud in the old route to force more current in the new direction. More current: more water doing the digging.

And all it took was a little water in the wrong place to redirect the entire current.

I got to thinking how much that is like sin.

My current (spiritual lives) my be going in a good direction, I may have already carved out a good path to follow (by Gods grace). But what if the enemy comes? What if he moves a small rock here, or puts mud in the way there? How strong is my current? Will I keep flowing in the straight and narrow or will I get lazy and find that it is easier to follow the path of least resistance? A small rock in life might start a trickle that will erode away till what once wasn't a big deal, now is.

So I ask myself, where are the paths of least resistance in my life where is the enemy is trying to wear me away.

Today it's raining again, and I'm glad.

Head Line News

Date line: Tuesday
Dr, Pepper can sales falls in SE Kansas: Experts baffled.

For the last couple months retail vendors just don't have an answer. "They were selling like hotcakes at a lumberjack convention, I just don't know what happened." one vendor recalls. "I just couldn't keep enough cans in the machine."

Ecomonists are unsure of the exact cause, there are many who have their own Ideas which range from Aliens who are now longer interested in cattle lips to Goverment conspiracy. "ITS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF CONTROL" one cries as he was being taken away in a straight jacket.

Most others chalk it up to yet another event that is somehow the fault of President Bush and/or his administration.... along with the earth quake in Japan.. that was his fault too.

Not all retail sales are going begging as one local gas station announced record sales. "With the profit I made in the last months Dr Pepper fountain sales, I paid off the loan on my house and just got a sail boat." The owner boasts.

It's that time again

At work, after the avalanche, we got some downtime.
so.. what to do..

photoshop of course
:)

I haven't figured out what to name them yet..
on a mac control click and open link in new window and on a pc right click and go to open link in new window to see the animal before.

Far too long has it been of late,

I really don't know what that means but I like the way it sounds. Because if you break that sentence fragment down, it really doesn't make any sense.

Maybe in the term that "hey I've been thinking lately that it's been too long...."

But anyone can say that, but I guess anyone can say "far too long...." too,

but no one does.

SO FROM HERE ON OUT, "it's far too long...." for me.

Here goes,


"Far too long has it been of late since I have almost accidently lit the entire state of kansas on fire."

But that doesn't quite sound right either. There has to be a "hark" or a "forsooth" or something in there. Either that or revert entirely to old english, which isn't an entirely bad thing..

Yet I digress, or digest.. one of the two.

I would like to preface this story in first stating that if my actions did cause a fire that would of consumed burbon county, that it wouldn't be entirely my fault. I had no idea the fireworks were going to be THAT large.

Two of us here at work just completed a project for a major firework company. A project that included a photoshoot in which i was a photographer. A photoshoot which took place at the firework warehouse with the worst lighting conditions possible for a such a photoshoot. Most of the problems we could fix, but some we couldn't so we sent a truck to go pick them up and bring them here under more controlled lighting for a better picture and a better final product (catalog).

SO..

Catalog done.

Fireworks still here.

two weeks...three weeks... a month..still here.

After a while and a phone call from our customer, we get a visit from our project manager which resulted in two of us spliting the products.

my half was a box that was 2x2x4 feet completely full of big big big booms.

If I lit two a day every day, I could still be lighting off stuff on the fourth of july...2010.

This make me happy.

Because there is no way I'm going to let these last that long.

SO I had my first playtime that evening I brought them home. I invited my kansas parents over and we made a night out of it. You know the kind that you light and run really really really fast and there's the initial deep "FOOM" and then the stream goes in the air and with a huge "POW" you see like a willow tree? It was like that... but I didn't know it was like that. Til I lit it.

That as well made me very happy.

I just doubt any neighbor within 5 to 10 miles is as excited as I am.

Trying again...and then again

Madness is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result

Insanity is when it does after two hours at it.

Work right now is a nice combination of the two.

You would think that a couple hundred thousand dollars of computer and programs would work smoother then this.

But here I sit.

Getting frustraited.

and venting on my blog.



VENT!

ventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventvent

I don't feel any better.

Whilst I await the PC error out again.... and then work fine...... and then error out again (need I say while the macs are running ever so smoothly), I'll think about happy times.

(sigh)

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

It's not like I have a seriously stressful job. I'm sure that there are others that have equally stressful jobs...

Like air traffic controllers.
Or those submarine commanders with all those nukes. That can't be easy.
Or the guy whose job it's to change the blinking lightbulbs...
on top the Sears Tower.

But it's just enough stress to need to vent some non-deadline-induced creative energy.

My feet hurt today, as they did yesterday.
So as I did yesterday, I did today: I wore my slippers.
Nobody looks at your shoes anyway. So here I am at work wearing my slippers.

And it's lunchtime.

So upon making a choice between all the wonderfull fast food establishments, I went to taco bell...in my slippers.

I little known trick I have found is that it the drive through is completely full; it's faster to go inside and order a to go meal, as was the case today.

So while I was waiting inside for my food, I remembered I still had my slippers on and had "I wonder what would happen" moment. As in: I wonder what would happend If I went into the men's room, took off my jeans and turned them inside out put them back on, seriously messed up may hair, and proceed back out to the counter to sit on the floor, curl my legs under me, rock back and fourth, and scream "WOULD SOMBODY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO MY ROOM!!!"

Then I remembered that I have seen the owner of the company that I work for in there a couple time.

At least the thought was enough to make me smile and relax for a bit.

But it's time now to get back at it.

Possibly the best directions i have ever given

My older brother and his wife are coming to vist this weekend and needed directions, so I picked out what I was pretty sure was his email addy and wrote a letter that went something like this:

HI if this is you then I get to see you tonight!!!!! IF this is not the right email address, then please don't follow these directions to my house and kill my dogs.

please

FIRST:

hop on 155 south and take that all the way down to I-72 W (US-36 W) at exit 92A • go 62.2 miles
Take Exit 35 (US-54, IL-107, Griggsville, Pittsfield) on right

From here you can take 54 all the way to Fort Scott, BUT 54 in missouri twists and turns and it's got hills and everything and if you got some car sick kids there's gonna be one heck of a mess on the floor by the time you get here. It's also a road that's kinda nasty in the dark. (deer, curves, hills and such) especially at the end and it will be dark by the time you get the the curvey parts. You also have to watch the signs cause it's a lot like 116 to indiana: turns in towns and stuff. Mom got lost on the way home because it was dark and she missed a sign.

BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE.



I'll pray for you.




If you don't wish to partake in the road of everlasting despair to can take the Kindom City exit from 54 Onto I 70. and take that to Kansas City. Route your way around the city using south or west 470 and using the and 435 west to 69 south (metcalf).

so either the city interchanges of death OR the road of everlasting despair will both lead to 69 (highway to.... heck)

take 69 to fort scott

we are sick and tired of spending like an hour to get all the stickers perfectly aligned and level and everything on our mailbox just to get it creamed a week later so there are no numbers on our mailbox. Call me when you get close...

or lost..

or die ..

but preferably when you get close and I'll run outside with a flash light or something.

welp.. call me if you have any questions.

and before you leave I want you to know that I love you.
:)
have fun.

pittcraft

First off I would just like to say,

44OZ DR PEPPER FOR 79 CENTS AT THE GAS STATION! EVEN LESS FOR REFILLS!
WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS?

anyhoo

I am loving my new job. As of mid January I am now back into the world of graphic arts and design and I am loving it. Back into the world of photoshop and illustrator. With that being said I might ALMOST post again on my photoshop blog. The possibilities are endless. It's a little more intense then anything else I have done but I am loving it. I am begining to love the half hour commute to "warm up" and "cool down" for and from work.

Sides that nuthin new...


execpt I'm gonna be a dad.
thats kinda new.

For those that know me..
yeah I know
I don't know if the world is ready yet either

for those who don't know me..
don't panic
the repercussions probably wont hit till the child starts walking.

Until then there's still time to prepare for another me.
What I am bankin on is that there will be enough of "his/her" mothers levelheadedness, calmness, thoughfulness, traits in him/her that will overcome any of mine.

If they don't

well

I just got goosebumps thinking about that possibility.

speaking of,
I was just in missouri/Illinois for a wedding the other weekend and I met a lot a friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I had a great time. One memorable encounter was seeing two great friends of mine from michigan: aaron and becky. It was wonderful to see aaron again and get to fellowship with someone who is on my energy level. One of my favorite moments was at the wedding reception by the Ice sculpture.

probably overheard:
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!
man if I had a hammer
I JUST WANT TO BASH IT!!
HEY KID don't touch IT!
I wonder if my tounge would stick to it..
I want to carry it around and ask people if they want some ice

ahh good times
seriously aaron, when you finish your doctor thing you need to come to Fort Scott.

sides that..
nuthin new