Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Head Line News

Date line: Tuesday
Dr, Pepper can sales falls in SE Kansas: Experts baffled.

For the last couple months retail vendors just don't have an answer. "They were selling like hotcakes at a lumberjack convention, I just don't know what happened." one vendor recalls. "I just couldn't keep enough cans in the machine."

Ecomonists are unsure of the exact cause, there are many who have their own Ideas which range from Aliens who are now longer interested in cattle lips to Goverment conspiracy. "ITS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF CONTROL" one cries as he was being taken away in a straight jacket.

Most others chalk it up to yet another event that is somehow the fault of President Bush and/or his administration.... along with the earth quake in Japan.. that was his fault too.

Not all retail sales are going begging as one local gas station announced record sales. "With the profit I made in the last months Dr Pepper fountain sales, I paid off the loan on my house and just got a sail boat." The owner boasts.

1 comment:

Luke said...

So was all that to let us know that you switched to fountain Dr. Pepper?

Sheesh you're long winded. Are you coming to my wedding you lovable loser you?