I'm not bitter.
Bitterness is drinking a poison and waiting for the other person to die.
But I remember. Is that wrong?
I remember the pain, because it's still here.
every birthday
every christmas
every thanksgiving
every april
everything I felt that second weekend
every feeling
every hurt
the darkness
comes back
the hurt the sadness the pain the doubt the fear the anger the rage the feeling of being complete and then having it striped away in a moment.
so does this make me bitter to feel this way?
he asked to be free.
he aksed of me forgiveness for the pain he has caused.
I gave it to him.
everytime I talk to him
everytime i see him
everytime i tell him i love him
everytime.
everytime i see him it reminds me of what we used to be.
my best friend
my hero
the man I wanted to be just like
the man who i thought had everything
but it wasn't enough
we wern't enough
I wasn't enough
sad -> anger -> rage
don't talk to me don't call me dont touch me don't look at me DONT TELL ME THAT YOU LOVE ME
it too hard for me to hear
I don't want to hear it.
but hey forgive and forget right?
this is life now and we just have to deal with it.
all of this
and two weeks til communion
unbelievable
