somedays are good days
days that it's easy to smile
easy to accept Gods grace
easy to look around and think ya know,
it's ok
yeah this is life,
but it's good
because I this is the life that God gave me so I will live it to the fullest
but what happenes when I fail
what happens when I fail
that Gods grace was there, but I wasn't
that life comes crashing down or to a screaching halt
because of me
I'm tired of falling
I'm tired of picking myself up
I'm tired of brushing myself off
I'm tired of taking two steps and landing back on my face.
WHY DO I DOUBT?
THERE IS NO REASON TO.
Everytime
freakin everytime
so I lie here
on my face
wanting to scream ARE YOU THERE??
ARE YOU LISTINING???
DO YOU EVEN SEE ME???
and all that answeres me is the sound of my own doubt.
I wouldn't answer me if I was Him
all that He has done for me
all that I have not done for Him
yet He still loves me
yet he knew that I would be here doing exactally this
pulling this exact junk
and He still died
for me
how am I worth that
lyin face down AGAIN
trying to get up AGAIN
sttruggling to my feet getting ready to brush myself off AGAIN
and there He is
helping me to my feet
dusting me off
setting me straight
70 times seven I have already said I'm sorry
490 times he has forgiven
I wonder if God cries
I wonder how many times I have put tears in his eyes
I'm sorry Father
491
Why is it that I cannot rely on grace
what is it
Father I wont quit,
because You wont quit on me
please help me be what you need me to be
to be able to use me
I'm tried of falling
so give me the grace to stand
and the humbleness to accept it
amen
2 comments:
AND....I just caught up on your blog, friend of friends. Prayers go up and the blessings will come down. Hang on and keep pressing on. You have an inner strength you don't see half the time...because after all, you haven't given up yet, now have you? Yea, that's right. Punk.
I know exactly how you feel... thanks for that... it was really good to hear some of the same thoughts I have thought... and the same tears I have cried... Sometimes I wonder why as well... but we all know He is still there. 70x7 is not even the beginning of his endless mercy.
Father WE PRAISE YOU FOR YOUR GREAT AND EVERLASTING MERCIES!!
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