A shivering young man sitting at his station is approached by a familiar face...
"what would bring such a friend to such a desolate, bitter cold place as this" he wonders.
the usual "hark, I say unto thee, who doth approach the royal station? Proclaim thy name and be known" was not necessary for the young man beckoning was not a stranger, but his fellowmate of the household in which he currently dwells.
"Dude are you sitting down?"
our valiant young hero was betwixed, "couldest thou not see with thy own eyes that I doth sittith?" yet the hero held his tongue..
"yeah I just got our gas and electric bill. your half is a little over a hundred"
the brave young hero almost fell off his chair.... courage was needed. He was no stranger to the call of such courage, and this trial was no different, but a hundred farthing was thrice the fee of late. Such a fee was unthinkable for him. For what hath he done for such a penalty?
"yeah i'm guessin it's cause of the heater, it's been going non stop. We need to do something. Like buy a space heaters for our rooms and turn the thermostat way down but not off so the pipes don't freeze."
Space Heater? This befuddled even the vast knowledge of the prince. Nay, I shall not. Freakish things, so he had been told. Never seeing one, only splinters of stories had come across his ears. But this..... this space heater... nay. Blankets thought the prince. Blankets were the key.
"I think we can get um at walmart"
The name spoken sent shivers to the very spine of the brave young man. He had been there before. Unwittingly he wondered once into it's depths. Only needing a simple thing. A simple thing that was only 9 farthing. But the place was cursed. Many many things were there to cast their spell upon him. Although he fought valiantly, it was a bitter loss, and the defeated, battered young soldier walked out with 150 farthing worth of hunting supplies that he didn't really need.
And yet... was he to freeze?
Plans were forming..
he was to make the journey....
he had to...
the Journey
to the Castle Walmart.
So with no small courage our brilliant, valiant, good looking, great smelling, and all around above average prince saddled his trusty companion, sten, and made the journey across the treacherous kingdom of fortscott.
Upon arriving at the monstrous castle, the handsome prince was greeted warmly by a gentleman of old. Although the old man voice was friendly, something hidden and full of malice was lurking behind his sagging face. So after an abrupt case of the heebeegeebee's our dashing hero regained his composure and valiantly strode further into the dark Castle.
Wonder upon wonder flashed before him as ventured further into the dwelling. "NO!" he cried. "I shall have nothing to do with thee!!"
Bit by bit the wonders had over taken the daring princes will power and soon he had forgotten why he was there. Things upon things crowed him. Rows upon rows of stuff filled his mind.
He must have them.
NO!
yessss, precioussssss yesssss.
Slowly his mind started to cloud....slowly he started turning his path toward the electronic section.
NO!! NOT THERE!! NOOO!!
But what was that... in the distance... it was...
it was...YES!
IT WAS THE COMFORTER SECTION
He had found it. At last he had found it. His mind burst through the clouds that were slowly strangling it and dashing though the various items closing in on all sides, the strong hero bull dozed his way through and, with out breaking stride snatched the the only queen sized bed set that wasn't too fem and sprinted through the castle, back to the entrance.. back to the light....but wait. What was that just up a head. It had been blocked by the registers before as he had come in. He had not seen it til now...
but there is was...
there it was,
his weakness.
His ultimate enemy,
and yet his truest of loves.
Dr pepper. A whole wall....
of dr pepper....
Tears came to the awestricken face of the handsome knight.
He could not leave it.. he could not......
Slowly the defeated knight mounted his steed.
Comforter in one hand,
12 pack in the other.
He had failed.
and yet.
He had won.
THE END
p.s.
yes I wrote this at work
yes I had a boat load of time on my hands
and yes if these thoughts came to your mind..yer ugly
4 comments:
wow, awesome is the word that comes to mind. That, and heebeegeebees.
"Hark!" Saith the young maiden, "An odyssey such as this could have only been created by a Quistothian from the village of Quistopolis!"
Once again, nice post Quis..
Henceforth, let it be known that I, the noble Stoller, shalt be called ugly... and that thou dost surely, as the sun riseth and the cock croweth, have in thine possession, an uncountable store of the precious sands of time.
I thank thee, fair knight Quis, for this thine story of old. Thou art a knight and yet a minstrel. I commend thee for thy poetry and prose. Thou art a true example of the most noble, the most ignominious warrior poet.
For love and honor!
~Andy
I have fallen to the woes of castle walmart many a time myself. Thy story telleth the truths of this evil place. I proclaim that we set on a quest to conquer this place of many woes. A quest!
I laughed till I cried Quis... The best ever!
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