Friday, February 13, 2009

1:56......1:57........1:54? ahhhhhhhh!!!

I wonder if it's possible if someone could vibrate at the speed of light? Then, in theory, time could slow down for the one that's vibrating. So the speed could be achieved without going anywhere. I bet it's possible, and I bet it's happening right now.

Once again Valentines day is upon us... yet another day that Men get in trouble if they forget. Janelle told me a great joke about some guy who always forgot so he paid the flower shop to automatically send flowers and deduct the price from his account. It was working wonderfully till one year he came home to find a very happy wife at the door holding flowers and looked at the beautiful arrangement and said to his beloved "Oh that's lovely, where'd you get the flowers?"

I've finished all the work I had lined up for the day and I'm not nearly motivated enough to start on Mondays list so that leaves me in quite a pickle.

I wonder how that got started...quite a pickle?

It's not like someone was walking around one day and slipped fell into one.
Into as in inside - that'd have to be quite the pickle.
So I'd imagine, here's a guy walking along minding his own business, and he trips and falls into this giant gerkin, He cant get out, so he punches holes in the bottom for his legs and stands up and starts walking around. A bystander sees all of this, and wants to help him out. So he approaches, they stand looking at each other for quite a bit, and with no other thing to say, the bystander says, "wow, you're in quite the pickle"

and that's the rest of the story.

and that didn't take near long enough to come up with as I'd hoped .The clock it mocking me, making faces at me
**giggle**

I guess we are heading to KC this weekend for valentines day. We were gonna go out to eat but all the good places are booked so we might go out somewhere for her birthantines day. Janelle's birthday is on the 27th. I know you are not supposed to double dip like that but... it was her idea. I know all the ladies are saying right now "She said that so you could disagree and NOT double dip."

riiiiight.

I am of the mind that women say they want their men to have an opinion. They just want that opinion to match their own. It's like a "yes dear" with a twist. Almost if you could form another conclusion, different from her own, but then change your mind so it fits more her Ideals. But do it in a way as if you came up with the same conclusion on your own instead of trying to match hers.

Instance: Friday evening afterwork in the summer. This has probably happened to every married man with a big lawn.

Her: "Hon, Instead of mowing the lawn tomorrow, why don't you just do it tonight?"
You: "Well it's getting late and I don't think I'd finish before dark..."
Her: "Well, if you mow tonight, then you can trim tomorrow and get done earlier"

SIDE NOTE: Get done earlier is a massive red flag. Get done earlier really means "I've got a ton of stuff for you to do tomorrow, so much in fact that that we (you) need to start tonight so we can finish by tomorrow night"

Now here's the kicker - A yes dear might seem as a cave in to her. She want's you to have an opinion but not one that's different from hers. Here's what you do:
You: "Well I guess I did want to go clean the dog pen and clear some brush from the west side of the house.. yeah I guess I could mow tonight"
Now you can mow the lawn tonight, and play with the dogs and the chain saw tomorrow!


I have no Idea where that came from and I deny any or all said part of what was written. I was away from my desk, getting a Dr Pepper and I came back and it was already written.

Disclaimer: Usually dogs and chainsaws don't mix, play with one at a time, not both at the same time.

That reminds me of another joke: How do you make a dog (preferably the neighbors dog) meow?
You stick him in the freezer until he's frozen solid as a rock and then take a chainsaw to him.

I'd better get back to pretending I'm working.

2 comments:

sarah said...

Oh Christopher....

megs said...

you posted on my birthday!! AND, my moms birthday (AND my parent's anniversary) is on the 27th.

funny story for you- my future employer was hauling grain one time and saw a man struggling with the tail gate of his truck. being the kind, considerate man he is, he went to the guy offering to help him "need a hand?"

the guy turned around and one of his hands was no hand at all but a bright, shiny hook.

ps- that IS a true story!! :)