garbage disposal:1 / chris:0

well, house is bought,
trees are trimmed,
fire pit in the backyard built,
divots from previous owners furniture somewhat repaired,
starting to fill the garage with tools and jeep parts.
15 days 2 hours 26 minutes til we walk down the isle, (give or take)
so life is good right?

hmm..

the day before yesterday and the day before that my beloved was in town cleaning the house and we decided we needed three things. new faucet fro the kitchen sink, new shower heads for the master bath, and a garbage disposal.

not a problem, I can do that.
So we head down to Pittsburgh to the home depot, the sink we wanted was outta stock, found a shower head that was nice, and a garbage disposal. Little did I know..... (shutters)

I take a look at the shower head, think no problem, go back to the apartment for some plumbers tape and we are good.

Lets take a look at our new disposal.

on instructions i read
tools needed: pliers, screwdriver, plumers putty, and wire strippers.

step one, remove old disposal.
uh..... old one?

step two: chances are your old disposal had a smart lock seal already inplace...
wait..... old? smart lock?

remove electrical wiring from old unit.....
ELECTRICAL?
lemmie check... nope no power anything under the sink. crud.

disconnect old unit by twisting old smart lock system...
we have been over this. NO OLD UNIT! what the flying snot is a smart lock?

at this point I put down directions and stare at my opponet who is sitting there smugly on the counter as if to say, "ha, welcome to joy of owning your own house pal."

Time to write some new instructions.

tools needed:
64 volt chordless drill.
1" paddle drill bit.
2 foot pipe wrench
cable cutters
wire splicers
sledge hammer
channel lock pliers
wire nuts
drywall knife
and lots of prayer

You may have won this round disposal, but I will win the war

SO...
I need a power source under the sink for starters....
Sounds like a case for guy ensim,
private eye

insanity rules

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named chris
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every single night he had a strange recurring dream
Where he was using gardenhose to battle sour cream
But that's really not important to the story

Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
With a spatula tatooed on her arm
But he didn't keep in touch
And he lost her number
Then he got himself a job on a tator tot farm
And he spent his life-savings on a split-level cave
Twenty miles below the surface of the Earth
And he really makes a might fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich
For what it's worth

Then one day I was in the forest trying to get a tan
When I heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man
He was caught in a bear trap and I set him free
And the guy that I rescued was grateful as could be
And it turns out he had a printing company
So he gives me a job and whaddya know
now I do graphic design and scream all day at the nexus workflow




i....


must....


GET..

FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Cheeseburger or Chicken?

Hey, I'm outside whenever you are ready.

Burger or chicken?

whats a park like you doin' at a girl like this?

and boom, an hour is gone
and just like that, my day was brightened a thousand times over.
so this is gonna be what life is like now huh?
I think I can handle that.

and then

she says it.

like she said it a hundred times before

and it gets to me

everytime I hear it

to the deepest part of me

I am warmed

I am humbled

I am baffled

I am overwhelmed

I am comforted

I am speechless

from her words, from the blessing that could only come from God

and after I hang up the phone,

I cry

and I wait for 30 more days.

if

if i could find the perfect job it would be to sit at a desk on the 50th floor of a glass building and stare out the window like I was pondering the weight of a mighty decision, like where to take my wife to eat for lunch. And I would have a big desk with NOTHING on it execpt a lamp cause the computer would be intragrated into the desk and I would have a cinema screen on the wall.

OR

I would be like a national geographic photographer and me and my wife would travel the world and take pictures of animals that no one has ever seen before...


OR

I would be like one of those guys who gets bored and modifies the company website to say hi to people....
:) NOT LIKE I EVER DID THAT.... k i lied.

yeah....
tha'd be cool

Know what?
I missed livis birthday.

I KNOW!! I KNOW!!
but see it totally wasnt my fault. I KNEW that her birthday was on the 4th. I just didn't know when the fourth WAS. my bad.
So everyone who reads this, please hit comment and say happy birthday to my little sister.

in the land of fluge

in the land of fluge there was a sansk, although the land of fluge was a happy land, the sansk was not a happy man.
for his fleege was in the land of sabetha knitting her hoopersling.

"HOW LONG must thou knit thy hoopersling my fleege?" inquired the sansk to an empty room

"till it is finished my love" answered she back to him in his heart. The floating voice of his fleege entered his heart coating his soul with honey. Yet twas not the voice but a mere memory of the sound, for in his heart the sansk knew what his fleege would reply.

"and how long will that take my precious fleege?" inquired the sansk.

"whouldest thou have me arrive upon our day with an unfinished hoopersling?" softly would of said his fleege.

"pray thee nay" quitely replied the sansk.

"Patience dearist, for the time we have apart will soon have gone and we will forever live everafter." Came the soft echos in his heart.

"well thou hast said, for the time draweth near. Pray thee take care, finish thy hoopersling. Let mine eyes find you here when you complete."

so in the land of fluge the sansk waited for his fleege to finish her hoopersling, for their day was fast approaching and the snoth would soon set flurb.

END

Once upon a time

Last winter..........