Thursday, April 03, 2008

Home, home on the range

I'm old.

or at least I feel old.

I'm gonna be 30 next month.

that calls for a kiku.

I am feeling old
I don't want to be thirty
I am also fat

Depressing, isn't it?

we wanted to weigh abby the night before last, but in order to do that, I had to weigh myself first so we can subtract that from the weight of me holding Abby.

She weighs a wooping 17 pounds.
That's like a trophy bass!

me on the other hand....
lets just say I added around thirty pounds to my pre-married weight.

I HAVE PANTS THAT DONT FIT ANYMORE!!
ME!!!

so it goes.

Now I know that some of you reading this might be a tad older then me, like say a certain mister hohuligan from r-town that reads this but NEVER comments (at least his wife does....love you kathy), are probably thinking something to the effect of "yeah... gee... 30.. whoa... have you picked out your casket yet cause...ya know, yer getting kinda close there."

I never said I was as old as YOU.

Cleaning the garage, changing the oil, fixing stuff....
that what GROWN-UPS are supposed to do.

I can't wait till Abby is old enough to play candyland.
She's mobile now ya know.
Set her down and there she goes.
the best roller west of the mississippi.

I love being able to say that.

"best (insert whatever) west of the mississippi"

Couldn't do that In Illinois, or I guess I could but it wouldn't make much sense. People would look at me and wonder "so..... I don't get it"

west was always cooler then east.
Cowboys always rode off west into the sunset.
No one ever made a cool movie called "How the east was won"
pecos Bill
buffalo Bill
me
west.

Great example:
in the east people raise cows.
in the WEST we have CATTLE.
If a cow came over here he'd probably get made fun of by all the cattle.

"LOOK AT ME I'M A COW!" and then all the cattle would laugh.

by the way: Sage brush is WAY cooler then corn.

But I still feel old.

I put a our new propane grill (christmas present) together.
it was so cool when I turned on the propane and ignited the burner and it worked instead of exploding.
That kinda made my day.... not exploding.

but it made me feel old.

Pretty soon I'll be putting bicycles together, fixing broke toys....

speaking of I guess I already am.

mister glow nose worm did not survive his surgery and had to be put to rest, being that his head wasn't actually made to come off. How else was one supposed to get to the battery? I guess we will never know. Poor mister glow nose worm. We had fun with pushing the button on your back to light your insanely bright LED nose. Rest in pieces.

I love how animated Abby is. When she talks, you could translate the gibberish from the eyebrows alone.

Ya know, west of the Mississippi.....
I see buffalo every day on the way to work
People can wear cowboy hats here and don't look silly
You can wear boots to a formal occasion
you wave to the people on horseback on the drive home.
People wear boots cause they like them, not because they are wannabes

AND....

I wonder if this lashing out is because I'm getting old.
I hear old people do that alot.
they sit on their rocking chairs on their front porches with Ice tea with a shotgun across their lap and complain about the weather, the bugs, the neighbor 5 miles down the road, take random shots at whatever is moving in the tall grass out front... at least that's what I do.

OK- I lied, the neighbors are closer then that.

and that's just about all I feel like writing.

I'm old.
But at least I'm not as old as tim.

7 comments:

ajp said...

good to see you writing again!

Luke said...

I miss Chris.

Anonymous said...

Triglycerides, HDL & LDL Cholesterol, CHOL/HDL Ratio...better get familiar with these terms now that you're OLD! By the way, I had a Dr. appointment today and was he ever impressed. Three months of working out at Snap Fitness and I have clothes that don't fit too! And, the above referenced numbers were great. He said I could pass for a 25 year old!

Tim "Old Hulin"

Erin said...

I posted some pics of Abs on our blog! You better start sending us more!

Dad said...

Just thank you grandmother Flo for her wonderful genetics. You have hope of lasting a lot longer than you can ever dream. And you better not call her old. She'll poke you with those iron fingers.

Anonymous said...

Congrats - you got Tim to write. But I'm still not going to do that "what's-your- answers-to-these-questions-and-pass-it-on- to-everyone-you-know-in-the-entire-country" email that you sent me. By the way, you're blog made me smile. Keep writing.

Ross

Mandy said...

i Would have to agree with luke....I miss Chris. Your recent post just made me laugh. Hope everything is going good west of the mississippi! ;) Have a good one ya old man!