Mr. Dad

Oh what a tangled web we weave...

2012-01-28T14:09:00.005-06:00

...when we have a bored four year old. I can remember back to when Ross and I shared a room when we were little. One of our favorite things to do together was to take a ball of yarn and string up our room. We would run it from every hook, knob and post there was. We had such a good time. Even clean up was fun with the scissors and now it is time to pass on the joy to a new generation.

I think if one could mix confusion with excitement one would come up with the facial expression that was given to me when I asked Abby if she wanted to make a spider web. When she said sure and then held out her hand to receive one, I could tell the idea didn't quite click. Try to imagine her face when I told her that the web was to be as big as the room; it didn't quite explode with excitement but it hit the notch below that.

So I started by tying a knot on the book shelf and stretching it across the room,

Over and under things...

The only trick was I am a few years older then the 8 I was the last time I tried this.

In the end I had a very happy house,

Except for the little one seen in the purple in the bottom left. She kept getting stuck. So it might be a few years til the younger can enjoy it as much as the bigger one did. We would throw things into the middle of it and have races to see who could get if first. We would play chase and tickle games, and in the end the scissors were brought out to have a cutting party. The Kingdom was happy and the peasants rejoiced. It was a good day.

Click here

2012-01-11T13:19:00.003-06:00

One of kiddo's favorite games is hide and seek. The whole concept of trying not to be found is still completely lost on her but that doesn't stop her from having an absolute blast playing. Another one of Abby's favorite things to do is to go onto the Nick Jr website. She could spend hours playing games and watching videos.

So on this particular afternoon she wanted to play so she jump started a game of hide and seek abby style. She grabbed a blanket and covered her self up and said "Find me! Find me!". After a little bit of just watching and not finding, I hear from under the blanket "Hey, Click here to find Abby's head!" "Click here to find Abby's body!"

Time to go play outside for a while.

Fighting words

2012-01-07T16:00:00.000-06:00

I don't even remember what I asked or told or what ever I did do deserve it but what ever I said to her prompted this reply from my ever surprising four year old:

"Dad, chill. Deep breaths."

I was for sure that this would happen but not exactly now. I was thinking more of the teen years. I think the default setting would be to sit this little lady down and have a talk about what we say and what we don't say to papa bear. I am bigger then her, after all, and that should strike some fear into her little heart but alas no such luck. I think it was the way she said it that made me and my wife laugh so hard we cried. Her little hip was stuck out a little hand when on it while the other was put up with palm facing me. I almost expected the next thing to come out of her mouth to be "I'm just taking the car into town."

I'm guessing preschool is to blame.

Renewal

2012-01-05T16:36:00.004-06:00

I figure that this title is appropriate as it has been over a year since my last post. In my defense, I have actually written two and have wisely not posted either. One was hours after I had three wisdom teeth pulled. I was buzzing big time and writing. Enough said. Although I did have the wisdom to not hit post, I hit save instead. Either that or I thought the save button was post. Either way it is forever archived for when ever I need a laugh.

As I write this I have a 4 year old crawling on my head while a one year old is going for her second try at an afternoon nap.

I'll keep this brief.

Abby is at an age now that things are happening so fast and she is doing things everyday that put a joy in my heart that I can barely express. A great example was recently I was awakened from a power nap timed with the younger one's nap by a weight on my chest. As I open my eyes I see a rubber band stretched to it's limit and a little girl giggling and saying "WAIT FOR IT.....". Way more things have happened that have put a smile on my face but are too numerous to remember them all. Today I told her she has beautiful eyes and she batted them like a bad 1920's movie. I asked to see her eyes closer and she went nose to nose to me and using her fingers stretched her eyelids out so I could see it better.

Good stuff

Joanna is now somewhat mobile now and even somewhat mobile is a game changing event. Before, I was able to plop her on her rear and place toys in reach and she'd be good. Now nothing on the floor is safe and no matter how many things you pick up off the floor she will always find a little bit of something to try to eat. Watching her motor skills progress is a blast as she more and more is picking up things with her index and thumb. Abby and I have both learned to keep our fingers out of her mouth as she had four teeth on top and three on the bottom now.

Daddy, Joanna bit me again.

Did you put your fingers in her mouth?

NO... she put them in there.

I have an idea kiddo, don't let her do that.

oh... ok. That's a great idea Dad.

And now at the end of this post, someone is calling me a snicklefritz and is about to get chased and tickled til she can't breathe.

All things considered

2010-09-02T11:31:00.002-05:00

Thinking today about perspectives and beginnings...
and extremely short posts.
Busy day today.
I'll post more tonight.
probably...

Dazed and Confused

2010-08-20T18:09:00.003-05:00

SO I was walking by a press today with labels coming off of it saying something about poison. As I glanced at it I read "Rat and Moose" and I'm thinking, "hey, I like moose, that's not cool."
So I went the rest of the day thinking about the poor moose that is going to be poisoned by this stuff.
I about said something to my supervisor about the poor moose that are going to die a horrible death when I read it again.

"Rat and MOUSE"

Ohhhhhhhhhh... that's different.
(sigh)
still...now I have this mental picture of a dying moose.

junkie

2010-08-03T15:08:00.002-05:00

Last time I had family visit we bought some pop to quell the masses (Joel and Livi). Every time they put a half empty can down it would disappear. They usually didn't notice the disappearance as they would forget they had a can open in the first place. Hence a another would be opened, sat down, forgot about, and disappear. All when unnoticed until bed time and I tried to put to bed a two year old that some how couldn't seem to blink.

Lesson number one. No pop cans or bottles unfinished leave the hand.

Working... Kinda

2010-04-29T16:05:00.002-05:00

Jake started working here about two months ago and 've been asked how he's doing.
I'd say we are meshing quite well.

Field Trip

2010-04-19T16:44:00.005-05:00

Well It's been a bit since Ryder has been here, so photo booth has set idle for a while. That is until Pittsburg Girl scout troop 540 came for a field trip.

After a tour of the company they came my department and we talked about Client files and photo editing. Mostly how two clients in particular can't ever seem to send accurate photos depicting their colors, i.e. files taken where blue jerseys or shirts or machinery will always print in deep purple.

That was a tad over the head.

So I just colored their hair in photoshop while they watched and then it made perfect sense. The ultimate test in concentration having all these giddy giggling girls bouncing off the walls yelling "DO MINE PINK! DO MINE GREEN!"

And yes the little kiddo in the bottom left was a guy tagging along with his older sister and his mom. I asked him how he's making it being the only guy with all these girls around. He just sighed and said "I don't know".
I told him to hang in there.

Real productive day

2010-03-16T12:01:00.006-05:00

Spring break is this week.
And as he had no school today, Ryder came to visit. I LOVE IT when Ryder comes to visit! His mom is a part of the sales department so he'll stop in once and a while.

Good times.

I hope he comes back tomorrow.

Kickin' Advice

2010-02-17T14:42:00.007-06:00

Never kick a turtle, it'll hurt your foot and annoy the turtle.

Never kick a lion, You'll just give him high cholesterol when he eats you. (If you are american)

Never kick a snake, you'll probably miss and then fall on your face right beside him then you'll both be in the dirt.

Never kick a cape buffalo, we'd never find all of your pieces to put in the coffin.

Never kick a fly, you'd look like an idiot tryin'

Never kick a hamster, that's just mean

Never kick a dog, they have bigger teeth then you.

Never kick a cat... nevermind, you can kick the cat.

Lesson learned

2009-12-28T12:52:00.003-06:00

Driving into town last night we came upon a old pickup blocking half the road at the bottom of a hill. He was at an angle so it looked like he lost control. Thinking if he wasn't hurt already, he was going to be real quick if someone came over the hill. The road was completely iced over.

I stopped and asked what the problem was. It was a younger kid and he said he ran out of gas. He didn't really have a game plan and was kinda just sitting there. Some one came and picked up his passenger and he was waiting by the truck for them to get back. I told his I was going home to get a tow rope and get him off the road. He thought that was a good idea.

On the way back to the house, by beloved wondered if we still had some gas in the 5 gallon can we had in the garage. (She's so smart).

Upon arriving back, he was surprised and thankful at the sight of the gas can. After putting about three gallons in, he went to start it up and found he also now had a dead battery. This guy is batting a thousand. I pull around and give him a jump. What comes next still gets me.

I tell him that he better get going to town because three gallons isn't going to last that long. He tells me he is going to wait on his friends. I told him he couldn't shut his truck off to save the gas because of the battery and he wasn't going to last long on three gallons. If his friends came back and saw his truck gone then they knew he'd been taken care of. He said he knew and said he was still going to wait on his friends coming back. He said they wouldn't be too far.

I couldn't do anymore for this guy so we left. After taking care of what we needed to in town we were driving back on the same road. I told Janelle that I was kinda frustrated and if he was dead again in the road I don't know if I would stop. We agreed our patience only goes so far with stupidity and there it nails me, I highly doubt that's what God's mind set is.

I am totally that guy at the side of the road thinking I have it under control, at the bottom of an iced over hill. The Holy Spirit comes along and tells me is a still sweet small voice to get my keister off the road, and I reply back, it's alright. I got it. No problems here. He even gets me started in the right direction and I reply, thanks but I'll just wait here.

Lesson learned,
Thank You Father.

Never say NO!

2009-12-17T09:32:00.002-06:00

Our precious little girl is now two.
Some of you just went "awwwwwwwww"
While to others, this news sent a sudden chill down your spine.

Two, it's just a number right?
and not a very big one at that.
It's just two.
Right?

NO! If I make it to three it will only be by the grace of God.

Now please don't get me wrong, I love that little girl more then I have loved anything else in the world (wife excluded). She is precious, she is darling, she is amazing, and she is driving me insane.

I heard a song on the internet radio I listen to at work and I just had to share.
So for those who have or had kids, this one is for you.

For those who have not, just hold your breath and jump in, the water is fine.

NEVER SAY NO

Dogs got to bark, and mules got to bray.
Soldiers must fight and preachers must pray.
And children, I guess, must get their own way
The minute that you say no.

Why did the kids pour jam on the cat?
Raspberry jam all over the cat?
Why should the kids do something like that,
When all that we said was no?

My son was once afraid to swim.
The water made him wince.
Until I said he mustn't swim:
S'been swimmin' ever since!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Why did the kids put beans in their ears?
No one can hear with beans in their ears.
After a while the reason appears.
They did it cause we said no.

Your daughter brings a young man in,
Says "Do you like him, Pa?"
Just say that he's a fool and then:
You've got a son-in-law!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Sure as the June comes right after May!
Sure as the night comes right after day!
You can be sure the devil's to pay
The minute that you say no.

Make sure you never say...
No!

scribble

2009-09-30T16:25:00.003-05:00

Scribble is one of those words that if you say it enough or look at it for too long it looks kinda funny. Almost like a made up word. I like words like that. It makes me ant to say them more often.

Speaking of speaking, Abby's vocabulary is still exploding and I'm excited to get home in the evening just to hear what she talked about today. She has had some overtime at Kansas G-pa and G-ma's house these last three weeks due to stuff going on. So her first couple days when we were all back home were probably not like what she had been used to. Sunday while we were walking into church from the parking lot, she saw Kansas G-pa pulling in. She stops dead and screams PAPA! and makes a bee line for him. Just about as if she was screaming SAVE ME, SAVE ME!

I think the last time I had a post was in July. There is a ton of stuff that has happened since then and I am doing a horrible job of keeping y'all updated.

So in a nut shell, here is the fervent excitement of a Bourbon County resident and his beloved and their daughter.

So here it is in all it's glory...

yep.. here it is,

right here,

I got nuthin.
So here is the all nothings in total wonderful randomness.

well, the hay field was mowed behind our house.

and I want to get into muzzleloading hunting,

and I almost tried to quit drinking Dr. Pepper.

Neighbor had a shed fire... I didn't do it.

Abigail tried to help me change the oil in the jeep,

I went sailing for the first time in a big sailboat, they gave me the rudder and I almost rolled it. It was awesome.

Our four year anniversary is coming up. Hurray!

I got a new cell phone with fun ring tones.

My fish died.

I was going to make a hunting Video this year but I forgot I don't have a camcorder.

Puppies are still puppies, just alot bigger!

The front tires on the car are getting bald.

There are no metal detectors to be bought in the town of Pittsburg, KS. I checked Walmat. Home Depot, a local hardware store, a local sporting goods store, and Radio Shack. NOTHING!

The nights are getting colder, perfect weather for campfires!

I lost an arrow in the backyard and it's driving me crazy! I HAD to get some that were camouflaged, I just HAD to. The dumb yard is even mowed.

There was probably more but I am way past my attention span, and now that you are all caught up, I must be going now.

Pyro technique

2009-07-07T19:34:00.002-05:00

Brothers, Sisters, friends, neighbors, passerbys, and assorted sea-monkeys, yet another fourth of July has come and gone. I have, yet again, have been unsuccessful at igniting the entire state of Kansas on fire. I did have more resources this year as I have found a couple of new things called 500 gram cakes and something called cannon fuse that you use to light off multiple things at once.

A good time was had by all, except for the dogs who didn't appreciate it as much as they could of.

So anywho Kansas is still here - mostly because it got kinda dewy in the evening.
There's always next year.

So besides that, lets see...

Abby is going to be two in a couple days.
That's pretty neat.

The vocab consists so far of:
NO
no
nnnnnnnnnnnno
noooooooooooo
NOOOOOOOOOOOO
nononononononononono
stop
mine
mom
dad
oh no
uh-oh
huh?
oh man
oh dear (that's one of my favorites)
ouchy
outside
shoes
bye
papa (grandpa)
night-night
please
thank you

and assorted others.

we are currently working on:
encyclopedia
hyperactive-attention-deficit
wouldyoujustsitstillandeatyoursupper???

That last one has been a tough one.

Let's see... what else?

I did see a turtle crossing the road yesterday while driving home from work but I was still in crawford county, south of here a bit. I guess it's not such a big deal there because there was no one was watching it.

Although last summer I stopped at a gas station in the country there and there was a group of people gathered around a good sized snapping turtle. Some guy caught it, stuck it in the bed of his pickup, and promptly called his wife to tell her not to worry about supper.

no news is good news

2009-06-12T13:07:00.005-05:00

I'm writing out of personal obligation right now. I really need to update family and friends more of the happenings around here.
It's just that nothing happens here.
So to fake something new, here is a news headline:

The Bourbon County Times reports:
Turtle crosses road, chicken farmers everywhere revolt at attention it brings-

This week residents of Bourbon County were given a special treat. A turtle crossed the road making him an instant celebrity.

"Twas sumpthin else" a bystander said. "I wuz glad I wuz thair ta seeit".

Onlookers christened the crazy crawler as "speedy". The one way trip was made in just under 13 hours.

"wuz the most excitement I'd had in a long time. Ol' speedy had me riveted fer the whole time"

Not everyone was ecstatic though; local chicken farmers had their feathers ruffled. "Our stock had been doin that fer ever and we don't get no parade!" New jokes are forming also on the poultry side of lane. An angry hired hand had this to say: "Why did the chicken cross the road? TO KICK THAT TURTLE IN THE KEISTER!"

Fans of the turtle are a little miffed at the jealously and aren't afraid to dredge up some old dirt on the farmers. "[The farmers] haven't been free from scandal since the infamous "which came first" egg incident last year and cant be taken seriously.

In the meantime, the excitement continues on Indian Road as it seems that the turtle forgot something and had turned around to re-cross the road.

"It's all a little too much excitement for me." A resident teen mentioned. "I feel like totally a little overloaded. Like when he stopped for a little and then started again... Like.. wow. I almost like totally fainted and stuff" The resident then said she would go for a nap and be back later to watch the spectacle.

A local Sherif stated "People haven't been this excited since the possom incident of 53" referring to a happenstance involving an opossum, an accordion, a welding torch, and 52' chevy. "It took a month to sort that one out. Our main focus here, though, is crowd control."

Being the turtle had changed directions and headed back around 8 this evening, road crews have been putting up spotlights as so the crowd could watch the spectacle.

Astonished onlookers continue to be dazzled by speedy, as the excitement continues to climax as he reaches the halfway point.

"He hasn't moved in an hour" a self appointed official spokesman for the turtle has said. "I think he fell asleep."

So the anticipation is high and is holding while we all watch at wait for speedy to wake up and continue.

Confessions of a brat

2009-05-28T13:30:00.002-05:00

Ok so I really like the church choir.
Seriously I do.
I don't even mind the practices, at least when they first started.

You all know that guy who just sits in the back and is there because if he wasn’t, he’d get punished or something? That kinda sorta was me at choir practice. I just didn’t care to be there.

I could list a bunch of reasons that I didn’t care, but I don't really have the motivation to do that either. I actually did try for a while… sorta. But after the first hour and a half past time to leave, all motivation was lost and I gave in to the dark side of the choir. Everyone knows that side. We all try our hardest to ignore it.

Yes, I was that guy.

The one that got the dirty glances from the conductor.

The one that tried to hum the soprano note when the conductor guy blew the pitch, that then got the dirty look.

The one that started on the wrong note because he tried humming it in falsetto when the conductor blew the pitch and then got the dirty look because it got the tenor next him giggling.

I was that guy.
Not the tenor, the other one.

It kinda went down hill from there... For the next 45 minutes. I didn't realize it could even go down hill for that long. Many more times then once I was asked where we were by the guy next to me. Whoever wrote the sheet music went a little overboard with the CODA's. It didn't help with the not caring.

But now choir is over and I almost miss it.
At least I miss the goofing off part.

Hobby UPDATE.

As some or many or none of you know, I have a small attention span problem. I have no one to blame but myself... and my mother.

As a result, my hobbies have been kinda fickle. Not that I'm not dedicated to them whole heartedly. Just for smaller increments of time. The wood carving one lasted the longest so far.

At least until now.

Anyone BESIDES FAMILY want to take a stab at what it is?
Hint: I actually didn't think of it till now but my awesome talking like a pirate skills will come in handy.

POV

2009-04-30T14:01:00.004-05:00

Coupe came to visit
His blog is on the right side
we tried to kill stuff

there were no turkeys
we went to KC instead
that was ok too

KC on monday
Hunted turkeys on tuesday
went home on wednesday

we sat forever
no turkeys for a long time
it still was all good

I told him I lied
there aren't turkeys in kansas
I'm glad he then laughed

it was successful
because we enjoyed ourselves
because we were there

turkeys will soon die
after coupe comes back next year
at least I hope so

Coyotes came close
we sat and listened to them
we'll soon hunt them too

being out side.. wow
humbled by the beauty here
that was what he said

he was right i guess
I saw it with new eyes then
it is beautiful

the timber the brush
too bad it had rained alot
we had one good day

but it was enough
enough to see the beauty
enough to enjoy

the hunt

just thinkin

2009-04-07T15:54:00.003-05:00

I love Montana.

Well I love Kansas too... and Illinois, sort of.

But Montana, wow.

I guess it's not like I have been to the entire state. Just the extreme Northwest Montana. So I can't really say with authority that I love Montana as a whole. There might be parts that I would look around and say "wow, this place stinks."
So a more accurate statement is that I love Northwest Montana.
I've only been there once and then it was for 10 days give or take a day or so.

But I got to thinking, I wonder if I'll ever make it back.
I love to travel, so does Janelle and Abby kinda goes where we go, like she has a choice...

It would be cool to make it back. But what if it never happens. Is that a big deal?

I met a guy in Princeville, He was an older man that told me that he'd been everywhere In the USA except for two states. He told me which two and I don't remember what they were, but I do remember asking when he was packing his bags. He said He wasn't. He told me that his daughter had an extreme mental illness that required him and his wife to be close by at all times.
I felt like a heel. Like I could of known but still, wow. He said it was alright though, he was thankful for all he had seen in his life. But he was done traveling.

Having a goal and just two states away form hitting them all, yet realizing what was important, dropped it all to take care of his daughter.
wow

Cornfused

2009-04-06T12:42:00.002-05:00

I hate when I'm hungry and have no idea where I want to eat. I could do chinese food but I hate eating alone and the take out gets gross by the time I get back to work. I could McDonald's it but I'm just about mcdoubled out. I'm there enough that I am on a first name basis with the drive through lady. The gas station stuff rocks but I could eat at Cheddars or Chili's for the same price.

So I'm driving and I see the Subway sign way down the road and my mind wanders to a nice and warm footlong meatball sub. It's cold outside and I need warmed up.

Bingo.

Not only bingo but I'm really excited about a warm footlong meatball sub, so of course I begin chanting.
meatball sammach, meatball sammach, meatball sammach

The sign's getting closer, I start chanting louder
Meatball Sammach! Meatball Sammach! Meatball Sammach!

I signal and start to slow down for my turn..
MEATBALL SAMMACH! MEATBALL SAMMACH! MEATBALL SAMMACH!

Gotta wait for the truck in the drive through to finish exiting and turn left before I pull into the parking lot.
MEATBALL SAMMACH! MEATBALL SAMMACH! MEATBALL SAMMACH!

The drive-through looks full and I don't want to wait so I park the car and go inside to get take out. As I park the car I realise that I should probably stop chanting. So I hum quitely.
hmm hmmm hmmhmm, hmm hmmm hmmhmm,hmm hmmm hmmhmm,

As I enter I look around to see....

I just walked into a Taco Bell.

I look out the window and see the Subway next door.

The lady behind the counter is looking at me because I apparently look baffled.
I look at her... look at the menu...

"I'll take a number 6 with a Dr. Pepper"
*sigh*

maybe I'll get my sammach tomorrow.

String of thoughts about baloney

2009-04-03T12:07:00.007-05:00

Most of the time when I write here, I don't know what I want to write about but I do know I want to write. Mostly just to reassure friends and family that I am yet still alive and somewhat well. It's hard to come up with a title before I write, because then I feel like I have to say within the confines of what the title dictates. Like if I titled this one "ALL ABOUT BEES"; then someone might think "Oh cool I love bees and would love to know more about them!" and then when I don't write anything about Bees, that person would leave these writings feeling cheated....but now I feel obligated.

Honey bees' wings beat 11,400 times per minute.
Bees possess five eyes.
Honeybees can perceive movements that are separated by 1/300th of a second. Humans can only sense movements separated by 1/50th of a second. Were a bee to enter a cinema, it would be able to differentiate each individual movie frame being projected.
Bees cannot recognize the color red.
A single hive contains approximately 40-45,000 bees.

There, I feel better.

I remember when I was little (yesterday) and loved to explore new places. When I first moved here to kansas, I bought a jeep.

(side note: I just realized what I just wrote there seems like two very different ideas with no connection whatsoever and I was tempted to just continue the pattern of totally random sentences but I decided not to. Yes, you're welcome)

anyhoo I just bought a jeep right when I moved here. Every day after work in the summer, the top would be off and I would find a new country dirt road just find out where it went. Sometimes it would pass over a dry (or somewhat dry) creek bed and then I would hop off the road and follow that for a while. I usually didn't bring a map or compass because the whole point was to get lost and to see new places. To find new creeks or lakes. But then it occurs to me: what happens when all the new places become old places and there are no new places to find? At least with in an evenings driving distance. But then again what's so wrong with that? What's wrong with being content with all that I have found? All the neat little creeks to play in or the beautiful country dirt roads that I am getting so used to? Contentment can be a hard thing for me sometimes.

Life expectancy of a worker Bee is approximately 28 to 35 days.
The honeycomb is composed of hexagonal cells with walls that are only 2/1000 inch thick, but support 25 times their own weight.
To make one pound of honey, workers in a hive fly 55,000 miles and tap two million flowers.
Theoretically, the energy in one ounce of honey would provide one bee with enough energy to fly around the world.

I think I found a title for this post, but I don't want to use it.
I might just leave it blank.

Livi and Mom came to visit. It was tons of fun.

I really have nothing more to say but at the same time have no desire to stop either. That would mean getting back to work....

Speaking of, I know a man with a wooden leg named smith...

A penny saved is a penny.

What goes up must come down unless it's a clay pigeon, then it gets blasted into dust and floats away.

Abby is going to be two in july. Wow.

I like Vanilla better then Chocolate?

Are you still reading this?...How about now? WOW.

How now brown cow.

This summer is going to be so much fun! My beloved and I purchased a tiller attachment for a thingy we have. I love to run the tiller. I have no Idea why. At least until I hit a rock. Then I don't like tilling at all... until I get the rock unjammed. Then I love tilling again. Isn't it amazing how fickle we can be.

Abby hates baloney.

HATES Baloney
A
T
E
S

That is til we let her eat it with a spoon.
Yeah, I know.
Weird.
But still, she hated it till she had a spoon to eat it with. And then she cut it up and shoveled it in. Sometimes I wonder how often I complain about something so stupid, and unless I have my theoretical spoon, I throw a fit. How much easier would life be if I just ate the baloney of life? No complaining just doing what needs be done. The suppers in life would go much easier.
:-)

I miss Ross and his fam. I wish He'd just eat his baloney and get his keister out here, along with his family, to visit for more then a Day.

I'd better eat my baloney and get back to work.
And now I have a suitable title for this post.

Have a great day!!

Seeds

2009-03-11T11:42:00.007-05:00

We are buried here at work so it surprised me that I actually got off on time yesterday.

A rarity if anything else lately.

As I creeked open the office door to leave, I was greeted by a cold and wet wind. I didn't mind because I was headed to a warm house and my wife and child.

life is good.

I took my usual route through town to avoid all the stop lights on main street. I forgot my harmonica so the radio was on, tuned to a Christian station that I could get a good signal most of the way home. It was kinda rainy, kinda cold, kinda breezy, perfect weather to be a duck or to be inside and inside is exactly where I planned to be in about 40 miles... being that I'm only part duck. I could of seen the sun setting then if it wasn't overcast... and miles to go before I slept.

The road home doesn't curve much, it's just goes over rolling hills. As a crested another I saw him walking on my side of the road. He apparently heard me coming because he turned and started walking backwards. As I got closer the inevitable thumb stuck out.

I breezed past trying hard to make it look like I didn't see him.

It weighed heavy on my heart.
It was cold,
It was wet,
It was breezy...

He didn't look like a duck either.

I chastised myself as I pulled over and put the car into reverse. I felt guilty how far I had to back up to get to him. As he saw me pull off the road, he started jogging to get to me. When got to the door, I was still throwing all the junk in the passenger seat to the back seat. When he sat, I could smell the smell of a guy who had been walking for quite a while.

At least I didn't smell any alcohol or smoke. I also noted that in his jog he was well balanced, and didn't look dizzy.
So far so good.

"I can take you as far as Fort Scott" I tried to sound welcoming.

"Any chance I could convince you to go as far as Kansas City?" he asked.

I just looked at him. Kansas City is about three hours away..."I can pay you, I have some cash on me..." he said.

"Sorry, I'm just headed home."

"That's OK"

Conversation ensued as I wonder why KC. I find out that he lived there. So how did he get so far south? A cousin dropped him off yesterday in some county because he had a court date he couldn't miss. He had to be back at work in KC tomorrow morning.

Says he is in the middle of turning his life around.
Done some really stupid things.
Drugs
Violence
Alcohol
Made bad decisions, his life was all messed up and he was paying for it now.
He said he was done with that life.

Then this small still voice, the same one that made me pull over, asked me if He was apart of this mans turn around. This man needed to know his soul needed turning around too, not just his life.

I really don't like it when it does that.
I'm no good at that stuff.
I don't know what to say or how to say it. What if it sounds condescending? I need words to speak... please? I'll open my mouth if you put words in it, ok?

here goes...

"That's an awesome thing, turning your life around. So where does God fit in to all of that?"

"Well.....I......I just.... need to work out everything first..... then him and I will have a talk....."

and then we talked. For 40 miles we talked.
I dropped him off in town and then headed home.

Enter the enemy.
What was that? You did horrible in trying to reach him you know that?
You drove him away.
His had his mind made up before you came into the picture
You accomplished nothing.
Just think of all the things you could of said if you weren't so shy about spreading the gospel.

As I pulled into the drive, my heart is heavy again. I said my apologies out loud to God as I turned the car off.

I stepped out of the car.
I breathed in the cold damp air from the still open garage door as I stretched my legs.
I turned to watch the drizzle come down and the beautiful still small voice spoke softly again

It said:

Thanks for planting the seed.

I'll take it from here.

1:56......1:57........1:54? ahhhhhhhh!!!

2009-02-13T13:55:00.003-06:00

I wonder if it's possible if someone could vibrate at the speed of light? Then, in theory, time could slow down for the one that's vibrating. So the speed could be achieved without going anywhere. I bet it's possible, and I bet it's happening right now.

Once again Valentines day is upon us... yet another day that Men get in trouble if they forget. Janelle told me a great joke about some guy who always forgot so he paid the flower shop to automatically send flowers and deduct the price from his account. It was working wonderfully till one year he came home to find a very happy wife at the door holding flowers and looked at the beautiful arrangement and said to his beloved "Oh that's lovely, where'd you get the flowers?"

I've finished all the work I had lined up for the day and I'm not nearly motivated enough to start on Mondays list so that leaves me in quite a pickle.

I wonder how that got started...quite a pickle?

It's not like someone was walking around one day and slipped fell into one.
Into as in inside - that'd have to be quite the pickle.
So I'd imagine, here's a guy walking along minding his own business, and he trips and falls into this giant gerkin, He cant get out, so he punches holes in the bottom for his legs and stands up and starts walking around. A bystander sees all of this, and wants to help him out. So he approaches, they stand looking at each other for quite a bit, and with no other thing to say, the bystander says, "wow, you're in quite the pickle"

and that's the rest of the story.

and that didn't take near long enough to come up with as I'd hoped .The clock it mocking me, making faces at me
**giggle**

I guess we are heading to KC this weekend for valentines day. We were gonna go out to eat but all the good places are booked so we might go out somewhere for her birthantines day. Janelle's birthday is on the 27th. I know you are not supposed to double dip like that but... it was her idea. I know all the ladies are saying right now "She said that so you could disagree and NOT double dip."

riiiiight.

I am of the mind that women say they want their men to have an opinion. They just want that opinion to match their own. It's like a "yes dear" with a twist. Almost if you could form another conclusion, different from her own, but then change your mind so it fits more her Ideals. But do it in a way as if you came up with the same conclusion on your own instead of trying to match hers.

Instance: Friday evening afterwork in the summer. This has probably happened to every married man with a big lawn.

Her: "Hon, Instead of mowing the lawn tomorrow, why don't you just do it tonight?"
You: "Well it's getting late and I don't think I'd finish before dark..."
Her: "Well, if you mow tonight, then you can trim tomorrow and get done earlier"

SIDE NOTE: Get done earlier is a massive red flag. Get done earlier really means "I've got a ton of stuff for you to do tomorrow, so much in fact that that we (you) need to start tonight so we can finish by tomorrow night"

Now here's the kicker - A yes dear might seem as a cave in to her. She want's you to have an opinion but not one that's different from hers. Here's what you do:
You: "Well I guess I did want to go clean the dog pen and clear some brush from the west side of the house.. yeah I guess I could mow tonight"
Now you can mow the lawn tonight, and play with the dogs and the chain saw tomorrow!

I have no Idea where that came from and I deny any or all said part of what was written. I was away from my desk, getting a Dr Pepper and I came back and it was already written.

Disclaimer: Usually dogs and chainsaws don't mix, play with one at a time, not both at the same time.

That reminds me of another joke: How do you make a dog (preferably the neighbors dog) meow?
You stick him in the freezer until he's frozen solid as a rock and then take a chainsaw to him.

I'd better get back to pretending I'm working.

of red meat and game cameras

2009-01-27T12:20:00.004-06:00

For those who are unfamiliar with what a game camera is; it's a small camera enclosed in a weather proof box that has a motion dector attached to the shutter. Said camera can be attached to an object via a nylon strap. In this case the object is a tree that's on the edge of the timber rumored to have a mountain lion who's height is around 32 inches at the shoulder.

I still have some unprocessed deer meat in the freezer from last year and of course the curiosity of what's deep within that timber and brush has been killing me. So red meat + game camera = answers. Or at least I had hoped.

Now something my wife could tell you about me (among the countless other things I don't doubt) is that I am not one for waiting when my curiosity is piqued. So rather then wait for the weekend (and daylight) to set the camera and the raw meat out, I go out after I get home from work.

recap:my impatience and curiosity toward a night predator compels me to set off into the nighttime timber with a bucket of raw meat.

brilliant.

The argument in my head while I was walking went as follows:

Voice 1: this has to be one of the dumbest things you have ever done

Voice 2: this has to be one of the coolest things you have ever done

Voice 1: STOP!! DID YOU HEAR THAT???

So I stop dead and look around very slowly with my head lamp, and then continue to walk the trail... backwards

Voice two: IF there was something stalking you then in theory you could see it's eyes shine back in the light like candles, but of course if it's stalking you, you wont hear it till it gets you.

Voice 1: you are NOT helping, lets go back

Voice 2: Look pansy, we are already half way there, let's dump the meat, set the camera and go back.

Voice 1: I HEARD SOMETHING!

Voice 2: Look I brought the 45, we will be fine.

Right about now my imagination is starting to believe voice one over voice two, as well as my brain because voice two has gotten us into some serious trouble in the past.

The rest of the way to the camera site I probably stopped around six times and did an "eye check" for anything. So help me if so much as a squirrel would have shown his face, it would of gotten blown off.

I got to the tree, set up the camera, placed the bait and gingerly re-traced my path back to the house, relieved that I wasn't carrying a bucket of what smelled like fresh kill.

Four days pass as I get all excited about what's going to be caught on camera. The trip back was much less uneventful then the first as when I told my brilliant and beautiful wife how the first exciting trip went she so plainly asked "why don't you just take the jeep out there?"

I just know she wanted to add a "you bone head" at the end of that question.

SO I took the jeep out there (full brights on) and retrieved the memory card and when I got back I kinda got chills.

The first picture of it was when I check the camera by walking in front of it on Wednesday night to check the motion sensor. I see a picture of me. The next two pictures were of....

And since my story is getting kinda drawn out, and lunch is over, I better quit here and get back to work.

Memoirs of a One year old

2008-12-16T21:32:00.003-06:00

Otherwise titled "You can run faster with no pants on"

Dad made me put on my coat on again. I can't believe it. I love him and all but he is one dense guy. I mean really, is it that hard to see that I DON'T WANT a coat on? I'm kicking, I'm screaming, I'm throwing my head back as if to beseech the heavens and still he doesn't get it. I don't like coats.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't like ANYTHING... just stuff they want me to do. Pesky little things like eat and get out of the bathtub and come inside after playing with the puppies and stuff like that. These people are SO hard to train. It's like they don't WANT to learn. I eat when I am hungry, I sleep when I am tired, and I wake up when I am ready to wake up regardless of what time it is.

I just wish they weren't so stinkin quick. Even when I'm fresh and energized right out of the bathtub, I still get snagged before I can make a break for it. But they are getting old and slower. I just have to bide my time. Half way through changing my diaper, I'm getting quick enough to roll completely over, but I just can't seem to get to the ground. Once there, I sure that with out my pants on, I will be unstoppable.

Until then, I must rely on my sneakiness to have any fun here. Even so there are many "why" questions that I am plagued with everyday. Like why is it bad to see what floats in the toilet? I mean aren't they curious too? I'm sure dad is. Or why can't I see if one box of Kleenex can cover the whole floor. I have never been able to satisfy these and many other questions that have been burning inside. But I vow that one day they will be answered. Like I said, they are getting old and I just have to bide my time.

Thoughts of Easter

2008-10-29T10:27:00.005-05:00

The darkness shrouds me as I am rasping for breath.

RUN

Thorns and twigs scratch my face as I sprint past them

FASTER

They are gaining. My lungs are burning. My heart is pounding so hard it hurts.

They are getting closer
I feel so heavy.

CLOSER

The high pitched screeches pierce my ears to my soul.
I feel so cold.

CLOSER
CLOSER
CLOSER
RUN FASTER!
I CAN'T
THEY'LL CATCH ME!

RUN!

FASTER!

I trip... I can't move... I can't run anymore..
This weight; its too heavy I can't....energy is gone
hope is gone

no hope

I lie there as they approach from all sides
I can hear their horrible laughing.
I can feel their claws

They spit out the words "The wages of sin is DEATH...."

I
am
going
to...

die?

NO.. Please NO!

What is that???
CHAINS?? WHIPS???

IS THAT A CROSS!?!?!?!

I DON'T WANT TO HANG! NO PLEASE NO!!!

A massive arm drags my limp body to my feet.
They chain me to a rock...

Out of the corner of my eye I see that horrible whip being raised......

"i'm sorry........ so sorry Lord...

I failed..

I deserve this....
i'm so sorry, forgive me.........

i wait for the whip
it never comes.

the laughing and screeching stops

i feel warmth.... warmth? How?
I see Him, He's walking toward me.

With a touch.... the chains are off.
He breaths in my face and my fear is gone, the weight is gone.

ITS
GONE!!!

In his breath I hear a voice commanding, gentle, rock solid, and yet soft, "I forgive you"

I stand, in wonderment, gazing into his eyes...wait.......sadness?

wait.... they are taking Him....WAIT.....THEY ARE CHAINING HIM DOWN.... NO STOP!!!

THE WHIP COMES UP...
AND DOWN TO HIS BACK!

no...

That was supposed to be my back!!

Again the whip cracks. and again and again

again

please stop

Again

not for me.... please

AGAIN

WHY... WHY? DON"T! PLEASE!!

AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN!!!

his limp body is unchained and is being dragged to the cross.
They are going to Kill HIM!

His words, I barley hear them through the laughing and screeching of the demons.

But I still hear Him, still soft, gentle....

"Because I Made you and I Love you."

I see them under Him....they are holding a club and a spear..they are arguing, a horribe voice scratches my ears
"ee's awlredy ded, no neaded to brak um, jus give eh a poke see..."
I see the spear head disappear into His side.... He is gone.

Three days go by as I huddle by the fireplace,

what just happened?

My mind is spinning, trying to grasp.... I see a whip flash by... I see the cross with his lifeless body. I see the spear. It should of been me. But I lived... I'm alive.. and He's

"ALIVE!!"

what?

"HE'S ALIVE!!!"

it's not possible... I saw Him DIE.. I WAS THERE! HE DIED! HE WAS TORTURED TO DEATH......
for me..

"I'M TELLING YOU HE IS ALIVE!"

And as if he was always there, he steps forward from the shadows.
I Scream for joy and run to Him.

The voice with the sound of may rivers coming together says, "Yes, I am alive. I have forgiven you. Now go out and tell everyone, I paid the wages of sin for them, just as I have you.

Tell everyone."

John 3:16, For God so love the world that he gave is only begotten Son, that whosoever would believe in him, should not perish but have ever lasting life.

I know it's not easter, but this was on my Heart and was waiting to be written and I didn't want to wait.

Chicken

2008-09-19T12:32:00.002-05:00

The other day (yesterday) I went to Kansasdad's house and he said "hey did abby see all the chickens that hatched yet?"

I said no.

So we went to the chicken house with abby and I opened the door held her close to them and they kinda stepped back like "um... she's not a chicken, she doesn't go here." So she couldn't reach them... well I couldn't be having any of that.

So I handed her to kansasdad and grabbed a rhode island red and held it up to her and she grabbed it's head and said "DADADADAD!"

At this point I'm not sure who was more confused - Abby, me, or the chicken.

It was awesome.

Thinking

2008-09-17T13:05:00.004-05:00

It seems that my deep thoughts have been lacking of late. Like non-existent lacking. It seems I just either don't have the time, and if I did, I don't have the motivation.

The institute for children's literature thingy is going great. I have three submissions so far, and I actually like what I have written. The first was about two kids at a bus stop that were being followed by an unknown group of people that had malicious intentions. It was kinda wild because I set the story in a way where I kinda got wrapped up in it so much that I didn't know where it was going to end and I hit a point where I was like "AHHH!!! WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT??" and I remembered that I was the one writing it and I could decide.... yeah, whoa.

The next was about a kid and his older brother that were headed for a space station because for whatever reason the earth was being destroyed. I really didn't go in to the reason but dove pretty deep into the thoughts, memories, and feelings that were experienced by the kid that was leaving everything he knew, never to come back, and start a new life somewhere else. That was a neat one.

It's wild to me that students are given around four weeks.
It takes me around an hour for a 1000 word submission. I just take the rest of the time to pick it apart. Take out what I don't like and improve on the working on the stuff that I do.So I guess I could take less time but I'm utilizing the time given.

SO that's where all the stories are going....

now as for the pictures of Abby.... those are coming yet, I just got to get them off of my camera.

She's walking!!

2008-09-09T22:03:00.006-05:00

Kinda.
No pictures yet but those will come later.. promise.

I wish there was more to catch up on but really there's not.

Life has slowed way down lately. Work was absolutely nuts for a while, but it's since slowed down. It's nice to get home before dark again. Keeping in mind I do live in Kansas.

Even so, I do find myself driving and seeing a... whatever and think "that's hilarious, I should write about that... but I never do because by the time I get home I totally forget about what I was going to write about. Like today I saw at least 3 road kill armadillos and I remember thinking something that I know made me smile but now I totally forget what it was.

It's not like I can blame it on age but I would like to blame it on something besides my horrible memory.

Anyway she is walking and life is an everchanging good.

Much Ado About Something

2008-07-31T13:41:00.002-05:00

I don't have a ton of time so I'll elaborate more on this as time allows so for now..
Speed Catch-up.

Abby is pulling herself up on stuff so nothing knee high is sacred anymore..... Including half full Dr Pepper Cans. (She seems to have developed a taste for that now)

Had to install child locks on all the drawers because she knows EXACTLY which ones she's not supposed to get into.

Puppies are once again free range puppies as chicken dinners are hopefully out of puppy heads. That and it's getting hot enough that during the day they just want to find a shady place and lay in it.... all day long... lazy dogs.

Sold the highpower rifle to buy a cannon of a handgun for snakes. A TAD on the overkill side but hey, that's kinda the point.

Saw the biggest rattlesnake that I have EVER seen crossing and didn't have my gun so I I tried skidding it under the tires but that didn't work cause of the stupid antilock brakes..... stupid brakes. Counted 13 rattles. I carry my gun EVERYWHERE outside now.

let's see... what else?

Joel and Livi and Mom came to visit and Joel shot the hand cannon and I think he liked it. :)
Livi wussied out.
Almost can't blame her, being that the foot pounds of kick were about as much as she weighed. Still, it would of be fun to watch.

Besides that life is kinda hetic with hardly any time to keep friends and family updated so be patient with me in keeping you all informed.

So Hi and Bye.
I'll write soon with details on UNEXAGGERATED (of course) goings on. Not like it's all exciting but that's all a matter of how one would write it.
:)

Fear and Running in Bourbon County

2008-05-07T09:30:00.002-05:00

I hate snakes.

HATE

hatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehatehate snakes.

Yeah it's almost kinda cool the way the little demons move without legs.
kinda not really

Yeah it's almost kinda cool the colors and stuff.
but not THAT cool

So I'm looking for arrows that missed the target yesterday. I borrowed a metal detector because if they miss they burrow into the ground if they don't hit a rock first. That makes them REALLY hard to find. Out of the four I lost, I found two.
Not terrible.
The two I found were actually in the tall grass a good 30 yards behind the target. So I wondered if there were more out there.

I wish I wouldn't of.

I went out into field to look farther.

I wish I wouldn't of.

I found a mating ball of king snakes.

I really really really really wish I wouldn't of.

I don't know if I screamed like a little girl or not but armed with a metal detector, I really didn't feel adequate to dispatch the slithery ugly spawns of evil. I set a land-speed record as I sprinted to the house, dispelling Einstein's theory of Time slowing down while approaching the speed of light. When I asked beloved rather urgently for the 12 ga shotgun, she didn't see what the big deal was. They were just snakes after all. Might I add that's not what she said when almost hit one with the weed wacker last year. YET i digress.

So here I am, back in the middle of the field, with the shotgun to my shoulder, trying to remember the difference between a king snake, blue racer, and a cotton mouth. I can see the trail I blazed through the grass, either walking out or flying back, and I follow that with the gun shouldered. I was moving somewhat slow to hear the hiss that I heard the first time that made me stop, except for now that there was a steady breeze, and the grasses all around me were making that noise, and kinda upsetting me in the process. I had eight shells with me and at that point I was about ready to use them all because I found where I had seen them earlier, but they weren't there now.

Meaning they weren't there.

Meaning they could be anywhere.

Meaning they could of diabolically creeped around behind me, or surrounded me waiting for the signal or were under my feet right now.

Meaning I wished at that point I had more then one gun and that they were both fully automatic.

So doing my best to aim the gun everywhere at once, which was scary and cool all at the same time, I slowly eased my way back out of the field. Note, I was trying to listen for sound but the wind was in the grass, and I was trying to look for movement but the grass was blowing.

I'm tellin ya if so much as a grasshopper would of tried to surprise me, he would of been vaporized on the spot.

Needless to say I didn't make it out of that field and am now dead.

I hate snakes.

Home, home on the range

2008-04-03T09:33:00.004-05:00

I'm old.

or at least I feel old.

I'm gonna be 30 next month.

that calls for a kiku.

I am feeling old
I don't want to be thirty
I am also fat

Depressing, isn't it?

we wanted to weigh abby the night before last, but in order to do that, I had to weigh myself first so we can subtract that from the weight of me holding Abby.

She weighs a wooping 17 pounds.
That's like a trophy bass!

me on the other hand....
lets just say I added around thirty pounds to my pre-married weight.

I HAVE PANTS THAT DONT FIT ANYMORE!!
ME!!!

so it goes.

Now I know that some of you reading this might be a tad older then me, like say a certain mister hohuligan from r-town that reads this but NEVER comments (at least his wife does....love you kathy), are probably thinking something to the effect of "yeah... gee... 30.. whoa... have you picked out your casket yet cause...ya know, yer getting kinda close there."

I never said I was as old as YOU.

Cleaning the garage, changing the oil, fixing stuff....
that what GROWN-UPS are supposed to do.

I can't wait till Abby is old enough to play candyland.
She's mobile now ya know.
Set her down and there she goes.
the best roller west of the mississippi.

I love being able to say that.

"best (insert whatever) west of the mississippi"

Couldn't do that In Illinois, or I guess I could but it wouldn't make much sense. People would look at me and wonder "so..... I don't get it"

west was always cooler then east.
Cowboys always rode off west into the sunset.
No one ever made a cool movie called "How the east was won"
pecos Bill
buffalo Bill
me
west.

Great example:
in the east people raise cows.
in the WEST we have CATTLE.
If a cow came over here he'd probably get made fun of by all the cattle.

"LOOK AT ME I'M A COW!" and then all the cattle would laugh.

by the way: Sage brush is WAY cooler then corn.

But I still feel old.

I put a our new propane grill (christmas present) together.
it was so cool when I turned on the propane and ignited the burner and it worked instead of exploding.
That kinda made my day.... not exploding.

but it made me feel old.

Pretty soon I'll be putting bicycles together, fixing broke toys....

speaking of I guess I already am.

mister glow nose worm did not survive his surgery and had to be put to rest, being that his head wasn't actually made to come off. How else was one supposed to get to the battery? I guess we will never know. Poor mister glow nose worm. We had fun with pushing the button on your back to light your insanely bright LED nose. Rest in pieces.

I love how animated Abby is. When she talks, you could translate the gibberish from the eyebrows alone.

Ya know, west of the Mississippi.....
I see buffalo every day on the way to work
People can wear cowboy hats here and don't look silly
You can wear boots to a formal occasion
you wave to the people on horseback on the drive home.
People wear boots cause they like them, not because they are wannabes

AND....

I wonder if this lashing out is because I'm getting old.
I hear old people do that alot.
they sit on their rocking chairs on their front porches with Ice tea with a shotgun across their lap and complain about the weather, the bugs, the neighbor 5 miles down the road, take random shots at whatever is moving in the tall grass out front... at least that's what I do.

OK- I lied, the neighbors are closer then that.

and that's just about all I feel like writing.

I'm old.
But at least I'm not as old as tim.

Twas the night before Christmas

2007-12-24T22:47:00.000-06:00

Twas the night before Christmas and all through this place,
Not a thing was moving except for me, my bat, and a can full of mace.
I crouched by the fireplace with my bat in the air,
Knowing that the same fat burglar soon would be there.

My wife got the 12 gauge, and Double 00 buckshot to boot.
Ready to pull the trigger on the guy stealing the loot.
With my daughter and wife safe in the back room,
If he made it that far, she’d make it go boom.

Keeping my vigil, awake through the night.
I’m rubbing my eyes so as not to lose sight,
I listen real close and hear that same noise,
The same bells as last year when he got away with my toys.

Then through my wandering Winchester .270 scope did I peer,
To see that same fat guy, (the one with the white beard)
Looting and pillaging from house to house with his deer,
I decide I have to stop him right now and right here.

As I aim for his deer and squeeze off a round, then four and then eight,
I see pictures of red nosed Christmas dinner, so perfect on my plate.
Down went Dasher and Dancer, bull’s-eye Prancer and Vixen! Nailed Comet,
(reload)
Got cupid. There went Donner and Blitzen!

As I watched the sleigh go down, I knew I'd not finished the fight,
For through the scope, indeed the fatty wasn’t in sight
I put the gun down and went for the mace and the bat,
For I doubted the old fart would go down as easy as that.

For the rest of the night by the chimney I rested,
Hoping this time the enemy was bested.
Hearing the shot’s, my wife then crept out.
Asked if it was safe and then we heard him shout:

You got my sleigh, all my deer, even my red nosed fawn,
But next year I’ll be back without the bells on.

So now so safe and so sound, tucked in after that fright,
Merry Christmas to all, without Santa in sight.

2007-12-13T14:52:00.000-06:00

All I want to do is jump over the cubicle wall, shine a flashlight in my coworker eyes and scream "TELL ME, WHERE ARE YOUR REBEL FRIENDS NOW!! BUWWHAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH!"

It's so not my fault either. She's got cookies over there and she is only letting me have one every other hour!
I think she's a control freak. Actually she's not, I'm just getting anxiety attacks for the lack of cookies. They're even the assorted kind that came in the little tin.
TORTURE!

Totally a Thursday that needs to be a friday.

Takin a break to blab

2007-11-21T08:48:00.000-06:00

Sometimes after work (especially like after a day when I had to pull designs out of places that I didn't know I had) I feel like all the creative juices were sucked outta me like a helium ballon at a ten year old's birthday party.

speaking of,

I miss birthday presents. Not like I dont get any presents anymore but do you remember the exact time when toys were replaced by underwear for christmas? It's like an age of reckoning. I miss the GI JOE guys and the rca cars and the hotwheels and all the stuff like that.

On the other hand I would bet that my beloved would argue quite passionately about the number of so called "toys" that I have amassed since we have been married and at this time I would like to point out quite clearly that there is a difference between a TOOL and a TOY. A difference, I fear, that is beyond the comprehension of the female gender of our species.

Although......
The saying goes the bigger the boy the bigger the toy and by some rights I might have proved that true as my favorite toy has a 4.6L straight six under the hood. So I guess I could go out the garage twice a year and rewrap my jeep with newspaper and put a bow on it for myself every birthday and christmas.

That would be a LOT of newspaper.

Then instead of screaming "thank you!" I would scream "thank me!", which would be kinda weird but not all that out of the ordanary.

My beloved's family thanksgiving was back in Illinois, (which, by the way, I have noticed that anywhere south or west of St Louis that the silent S at the end comes very much alive) so the Iddy bitty had quite a weekend road trip. It was very much worth the trip to see everyone again but probably the last one for a while.

welp...
I better get back to work.

heeeeeeeeeeeres's abby

2007-11-01T22:29:00.001-05:00

My wife wants it to be made known that there was absolutely no nagging WHATSOEVER involved in the production of this blog. She states, "I'm merely passing (rather fervently, I might add) along multiple requests from faithful blog readers who demand an update."

right

So, without further delay, here's the most beautiful little girl in the world:

not that I'm biased or anything...

Captains log

2007-10-05T08:29:00.000-05:00

Stardate: day after yesterday, but not quite tomorrow.

As we set our course for tomorrow I realize that yesterday I had the same heading and and should of been to tomorrow by today but since yesterday WAS today yesterday, then tomorrow SHOULD of been today!

But it’s not.

That’s tomorrow.

So I’ll wait for tomorrow to get here.
So today can be yesterday.

I’ll always know where I’ve been, but never quite know when I get to where I’m going.

ABBY BLURB!
How can I describe how or what I feel when I look into those great big blue eyes? So completely trusting. Crying greatbighuge tears when someone else has her. But when mom or dad holds her just like that the tears gone. (unless she’s crabby, then all bets are off) Even with her eyes closed, It’s like she knows what it feels like when we hold her versus someone else.

I am a night owl. It’s my “energytime” (yeah I made that word up, kinda like the word thibbit but not really) if I have not had a day that took it all already. So to unwind, if I’m not already unraveled, I get to feed and hold her till she falls asleep. I find that after she fades to dreams that I still need to hold tight till she goes completely limp or else she will fuss as soon as she gets in the crib.

But if I wait, she won’t even need a pacifier. She doesn’t even move when I put her into her crib.

I love it.

In other news, NOTHING else is new. This is why I haven’t written in like FOREVER.

Wife is fine.
Work is fine.
Home is fine.
Puppies are fine.
Jeep needs fixed.
Trails need mowed.

Such is life In Kansas.

It’s been somewhere around five years now since I moved here. I don’t remember exactly when. I think about a lot of you that are reading this now. Al least the ones who still read this after a two month slumber. That’s more like a hibernation.

SIDE NOTE
I should totally change the name of this blog to sleeping bear.
OR not
yeah probably not.

Abigail Rose

2007-08-16T08:48:00.001-05:00

have you ever been so completely over whelmed that your are even more over whelmed at thinking how over whelmed you are?

Is that even how you spell overwhelmed?
Is it one word or two?

But apparently blogspot hasn't been modified to NATIONAL cool guy standards and doesn't let mac browsers use spell check.
yeah that's right "national cool guy standards"

sow ef eye muspel stuf ets knot mi falt

Abby.

Wow.

she is so beautiful. I was half bracing myself for something to come out of my wife that didn't look anything like a baby and slowly form into one. As Bill Cosby had said "Honey, you had a lizard"
But she came out so perfect, and now comes that O word again (i'm not gonna try to spell it).

SO SO dependent.
SO SO FEMALE in a "Hold me but I don't want to be held" kinda thing. And if she falls asleep on my chest, one thing is quite clear - I AM NOT TO MOVE

which is fine with me...

unless I have to sneeze,
then we have problems

A boring life changes that quick

2007-07-24T21:40:00.000-05:00

Word has reached my ear that I haven't written nearly enough lately.

Well I got news for you.

I'm an extreamly boring person. I know that this comes as QUITE a shock to most of you, but it's time you learn the ulgy truth. The last time something exciting happend was when...

I have been sitting here for like 5 minutes and all I can come up with is mowing the lawn. I like mowing the lawn. Execpt when it's hot.
or humid.

or hot and humid.

so I don't really like mowing the lawn.

I do like mowing paths in the hay field in the back. We have a three quarter mile path that wonders around the backyard and hayfield surrounding that I like to keep golf green short. Less chance to step on a rattlesnake.

Anyhoo I have tortured some of you long enough. The reason for this post is something super exciting FINALLY did happen last tuesday. My daughter, Abigail Rose, was born. OF COURSE I have taken a bijillion pictures that probably all look the same and have sent out a mass e-mail or two, but now it's time to post at least some of them.

These are all when she was a few minutes born.

She was born 8lbs and 10oz at 22in long.

Everything on her is just so perfect. Of course I'm supposed to think and say that, but even if I didn't even know this kid, I'd totally be like: hey wow that kid is probably the cutest kid I have seen in all my life and I have seen a lot of kids.

Perfect little tiny fingernails

So this is abby.

It's been quite a week. We aren't the same people now. You might ask what's different.

I can't say that Abby is because she is the cause of the difference. I might be that we have a kid now and have no idea what we are doing or even if we knew what to do, we would know how to go about doing it. It's been hard to trust and have faith with this one because so much is at stake. Anytime I have had to act on faith of my own accord, it never was that hard because it was only me that I was putting in HIS hands. Whenever I had to act on faith and the direct outcome of my faith effected someone else it was always a little harder.

But now this

Now everything she is depends on us. Depends on upbringing. Depends on good decsion making. Dependes on the upmost faith and trust that the answer will come when we don't have one. What to do when she needs us to do whatever it is we're supposed to do.

I am the Head of this household. If my trust falters, if my faith waivers, my family will suffer.

GOD give me strenght to do this.

and he does.

and by HIS grace we continue on.

now if He could just give her grace to sleep in the night and not the day, we will be all set.
:)

Blog CPR

2007-06-14T08:13:00.000-05:00

I cant hardly believe that it's been since March that I have written.

Two excuses I could propose-

One:
it's not my fault, life got super busy... kinda

Two
I really dont have an excuse.

a possible third could be:
wild zuchinni men from zanzabar attacked my village and burned our tapioca crops and we have been without pudding for many months now and I alone have traversed far and wide to save my people from a fate worse then tofu... yes my friends, my mother tried to feed us soy pudding. Therefore I must trek on a journey of journies to find new plants and save my village.

Except I don't live in a village, and we have a tomato plant that's not burned, and wild zuchinni men are really quite harmless. although my mother has convinced my wife to try to kill me with various soy products. But all has been forgiven.

I have been really preoccupied with the thought of becoming a father. July 11th is the pop date for those who have been wondering. And the child is a little girl. (I always wanted one of those). And hey, the dogs aren't dead yet and I haven't accidently lit them on fire or anything we've had those guys for OVER A YEAR. So I figure.. yeah why not a kid?

Also in the news on Indian Road I have killed yet another critter which I have promised my wife not to reveal the identity of in fear that our invitations to friends far and wide will decline because on the knowledge of said critter. I would say the what the butchers toll of said critter was but quite honestly I have lost count. We have called a gentleman to take care of our unwelcomed guests and aas of yesterday we could possibably might not have to worry about nighttime visitors anymore. But we will see. Please don't misunderstand me: all are welcome to our house, but not all will be left alive opon entering in.

The puppies are doing wonderful in case you were wondering. They keep gettin bigger as puppies do. I haven't weighed them in a while but the boy is at 70 pounds now I think. The girl is about 10 less then that. They have had to be reintroduced to their pen for a while as they have made a discovery at the neighbors. I have tried to drill into them that chickens are our friends, not food.... at least not until they are cooked. But puppies are puppies and will do what puppies do. And that's have as much fun as possible before getting into as much trouble as possible.

Final score:
chickens: 0
puppies: 7

but the games were darkend with two fatalities.
and yet not so much as most of the ultimate losers are in my freezer.

bad puppies
good dinner

maybe a month in the slammer will clear puppy minds of chicken dinners.
only time will tell.

Water Weather

2007-03-27T12:30:00.000-05:00

It's been raining alot lately, not that I am complaining. I love rain, I love the cloud formations, I love the sound the rain makes. I love the way lightning highlights the clouds on a dark night. I love that we live out in the country with the back deck looking toward Oklahoma. The storms come from the south and west but mostly south.

anyhoo,

So last friday, after work, I called my beloved to tell her I was on the way home (as I usually do) and she tells me that with the rain that's been nonstop for a couple days now, that the runoff from the fields and the ditches has now flooded the front yard again.

I like it when that happens.

It reminds me of the wet season in Illinois where I grew up, we used to play in the flood waters for days on end. There was one stream that went through the town. Every year it would flood way out because of all the feilds that drained into it let alone all the streets. We would have so much fun. I remember all the parents and the village board would always hate it because they were afraid that someone would drown, but no one ever did... as far as I know. There were always the parents that made up the stories about snakes and huge catfish and stuff to keep us out of the water.

So anyhoo I'm driving home surrounded my memories and I think how fun that would be to play in the water again.

So I did.

I had so much fun.

There was two main sources that the water was coming from; one was the ditch by the road, and one was from the field behind the neighbors house. They both go under the drive way and across to the other side of the yard to where they join another current where there is runoff from a pond and another field. From there it goes under a bridge and into the land across the way. The current was enough to sweep charlie off his paws (at close to 60 pounds now) and start whining. Lucy didn't want to try it. But I'm finding out, puppies LOVE water.

Most all the water was moving, leaving little stagnant. But the thought occoured to me. Alot of runoff was coming from the ditch but not all. Meaning that half of what was in the ditch, continued the ditch.

Before I go on, you must know that I like having a lake in front of the house, I like it alot. So much so that after watching the water for a while I decieded to get my shovel.

As I was working I realised something profound. It's hard to stop water from going somewhere. I mean very hard. Water follows the path of least resistance, always. It doesn't really care about how hard you try to dam it up and even if you do it will find a path, unless you make one first.

It is aheck of a lot easier making a new path of least resistance then trying to bar the old one. If I want water to go this way instead of that, I make it easier for it to do that. Sometimes that even ment pulling a small rock out of the soil. Once that was done and the water found a new path, the current did most of the digging. Once most of the current was redirected I could pile rocks and mud in the old route to force more current in the new direction. More current: more water doing the digging.

And all it took was a little water in the wrong place to redirect the entire current.

I got to thinking how much that is like sin.

My current (spiritual lives) my be going in a good direction, I may have already carved out a good path to follow (by Gods grace). But what if the enemy comes? What if he moves a small rock here, or puts mud in the way there? How strong is my current? Will I keep flowing in the straight and narrow or will I get lazy and find that it is easier to follow the path of least resistance? A small rock in life might start a trickle that will erode away till what once wasn't a big deal, now is.

So I ask myself, where are the paths of least resistance in my life where is the enemy is trying to wear me away.

Today it's raining again, and I'm glad.

Head Line News

2007-03-27T09:09:00.000-05:00

Date line: Tuesday
Dr, Pepper can sales falls in SE Kansas: Experts baffled.

For the last couple months retail vendors just don't have an answer. "They were selling like hotcakes at a lumberjack convention, I just don't know what happened." one vendor recalls. "I just couldn't keep enough cans in the machine."

Ecomonists are unsure of the exact cause, there are many who have their own Ideas which range from Aliens who are now longer interested in cattle lips to Goverment conspiracy. "ITS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF CONTROL" one cries as he was being taken away in a straight jacket.

Most others chalk it up to yet another event that is somehow the fault of President Bush and/or his administration.... along with the earth quake in Japan.. that was his fault too.

Not all retail sales are going begging as one local gas station announced record sales. "With the profit I made in the last months Dr Pepper fountain sales, I paid off the loan on my house and just got a sail boat." The owner boasts.

It's that time again

2007-03-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

At work, after the avalanche, we got some downtime.
so.. what to do..

photoshop of course
:)

I haven't figured out what to name them yet..
on a mac control click and open link in new window and on a pc right click and go to open link in new window to see the animal before.

Far too long has it been of late,

2007-03-09T14:56:00.000-06:00

I really don't know what that means but I like the way it sounds. Because if you break that sentence fragment down, it really doesn't make any sense.

Maybe in the term that "hey I've been thinking lately that it's been too long...."

But anyone can say that, but I guess anyone can say "far too long...." too,

but no one does.

SO FROM HERE ON OUT, "it's far too long...." for me.

Here goes,

"Far too long has it been of late since I have almost accidently lit the entire state of kansas on fire."

But that doesn't quite sound right either. There has to be a "hark" or a "forsooth" or something in there. Either that or revert entirely to old english, which isn't an entirely bad thing..

Yet I digress, or digest.. one of the two.

I would like to preface this story in first stating that if my actions did cause a fire that would of consumed burbon county, that it wouldn't be entirely my fault. I had no idea the fireworks were going to be THAT large.

Two of us here at work just completed a project for a major firework company. A project that included a photoshoot in which i was a photographer. A photoshoot which took place at the firework warehouse with the worst lighting conditions possible for a such a photoshoot. Most of the problems we could fix, but some we couldn't so we sent a truck to go pick them up and bring them here under more controlled lighting for a better picture and a better final product (catalog).

SO..

Catalog done.

Fireworks still here.

two weeks...three weeks... a month..still here.

After a while and a phone call from our customer, we get a visit from our project manager which resulted in two of us spliting the products.

my half was a box that was 2x2x4 feet completely full of big big big booms.

If I lit two a day every day, I could still be lighting off stuff on the fourth of july...2010.

This make me happy.

Because there is no way I'm going to let these last that long.

SO I had my first playtime that evening I brought them home. I invited my kansas parents over and we made a night out of it. You know the kind that you light and run really really really fast and there's the initial deep "FOOM" and then the stream goes in the air and with a huge "POW" you see like a willow tree? It was like that... but I didn't know it was like that. Til I lit it.

That as well made me very happy.

I just doubt any neighbor within 5 to 10 miles is as excited as I am.

Trying again...and then again

2007-03-08T18:04:00.000-06:00

Madness is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result

Insanity is when it does after two hours at it.

Work right now is a nice combination of the two.

You would think that a couple hundred thousand dollars of computer and programs would work smoother then this.

But here I sit.

Getting frustraited.

and venting on my blog.

VENT!

ventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventventvent

I don't feel any better.

Whilst I await the PC error out again.... and then work fine...... and then error out again (need I say while the macs are running ever so smoothly), I'll think about happy times.

(sigh)

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills

2007-02-27T12:40:00.000-06:00

It's not like I have a seriously stressful job. I'm sure that there are others that have equally stressful jobs...

Like air traffic controllers.
Or those submarine commanders with all those nukes. That can't be easy.
Or the guy whose job it's to change the blinking lightbulbs...
on top the Sears Tower.

But it's just enough stress to need to vent some non-deadline-induced creative energy.

My feet hurt today, as they did yesterday.
So as I did yesterday, I did today: I wore my slippers.
Nobody looks at your shoes anyway. So here I am at work wearing my slippers.

And it's lunchtime.

So upon making a choice between all the wonderfull fast food establishments, I went to taco bell...in my slippers.

I little known trick I have found is that it the drive through is completely full; it's faster to go inside and order a to go meal, as was the case today.

So while I was waiting inside for my food, I remembered I still had my slippers on and had "I wonder what would happen" moment. As in: I wonder what would happend If I went into the men's room, took off my jeans and turned them inside out put them back on, seriously messed up may hair, and proceed back out to the counter to sit on the floor, curl my legs under me, rock back and fourth, and scream "WOULD SOMBODY PLEASE TAKE ME BACK TO MY ROOM!!!"

Then I remembered that I have seen the owner of the company that I work for in there a couple time.

At least the thought was enough to make me smile and relax for a bit.

But it's time now to get back at it.

Possibly the best directions i have ever given

2007-02-16T12:58:00.000-06:00

My older brother and his wife are coming to vist this weekend and needed directions, so I picked out what I was pretty sure was his email addy and wrote a letter that went something like this:

HI if this is you then I get to see you tonight!!!!! IF this is not the right email address, then please don't follow these directions to my house and kill my dogs.

please

FIRST:

hop on 155 south and take that all the way down to I-72 W (US-36 W) at exit 92A • go 62.2 miles
Take Exit 35 (US-54, IL-107, Griggsville, Pittsfield) on right

From here you can take 54 all the way to Fort Scott, BUT 54 in missouri twists and turns and it's got hills and everything and if you got some car sick kids there's gonna be one heck of a mess on the floor by the time you get here. It's also a road that's kinda nasty in the dark. (deer, curves, hills and such) especially at the end and it will be dark by the time you get the the curvey parts. You also have to watch the signs cause it's a lot like 116 to indiana: turns in towns and stuff. Mom got lost on the way home because it was dark and she missed a sign.

BUT I'M SURE YOU'LL BE FINE.

I'll pray for you.

If you don't wish to partake in the road of everlasting despair to can take the Kindom City exit from 54 Onto I 70. and take that to Kansas City. Route your way around the city using south or west 470 and using the and 435 west to 69 south (metcalf).

so either the city interchanges of death OR the road of everlasting despair will both lead to 69 (highway to.... heck)

take 69 to fort scott

we are sick and tired of spending like an hour to get all the stickers perfectly aligned and level and everything on our mailbox just to get it creamed a week later so there are no numbers on our mailbox. Call me when you get close...

or lost..

or die ..

but preferably when you get close and I'll run outside with a flash light or something.

welp.. call me if you have any questions.

and before you leave I want you to know that I love you.
:)
have fun.

pittcraft

2007-02-15T16:40:00.000-06:00

First off I would just like to say,

44OZ DR PEPPER FOR 79 CENTS AT THE GAS STATION! EVEN LESS FOR REFILLS!
WHY DOES NO ONE TELL ME THESE THINGS?

anyhoo

I am loving my new job. As of mid January I am now back into the world of graphic arts and design and I am loving it. Back into the world of photoshop and illustrator. With that being said I might ALMOST post again on my photoshop blog. The possibilities are endless. It's a little more intense then anything else I have done but I am loving it. I am begining to love the half hour commute to "warm up" and "cool down" for and from work.

Sides that nuthin new...

execpt I'm gonna be a dad.
thats kinda new.

For those that know me..
yeah I know
I don't know if the world is ready yet either

for those who don't know me..
don't panic
the repercussions probably wont hit till the child starts walking.

Until then there's still time to prepare for another me.
What I am bankin on is that there will be enough of "his/her" mothers levelheadedness, calmness, thoughfulness, traits in him/her that will overcome any of mine.

If they don't

well

I just got goosebumps thinking about that possibility.

speaking of,
I was just in missouri/Illinois for a wedding the other weekend and I met a lot a friends that I haven't seen in a long time. I had a great time. One memorable encounter was seeing two great friends of mine from michigan: aaron and becky. It was wonderful to see aaron again and get to fellowship with someone who is on my energy level. One of my favorite moments was at the wedding reception by the Ice sculpture.

probably overheard:
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!
man if I had a hammer
I JUST WANT TO BASH IT!!
HEY KID don't touch IT!
I wonder if my tounge would stick to it..
I want to carry it around and ask people if they want some ice

ahh good times
seriously aaron, when you finish your doctor thing you need to come to Fort Scott.

sides that..
nuthin new

Thanks for the memories

2006-12-20T15:23:00.000-06:00

I took my Doctor Pepper cans from the last couple months to the recycling place the other day and got 11.75 back. Not quite the self sustaining habit that I'm trying to convince my beloved that it is.

Lots has happened since I last wrote, but I can't remember half of it.

I just know that it happened.
Oh well.

I'd ask my love but I have gotten quite numb to the response "Are you serious?"

I think Alzheimer's is setting in a tad early this generation. Someone asked the name's of my in-laws last week or something and I totally drew a blank. It was as if the little men in my head got a tad over zealous in last years spring cleaning. I'm getting quite used to the evenings when she starts getting ready to go somewhere; I know I better start getting ready too, even though I have no idea for what. AND I DARE NOT ask where we are going as an exasperated sigh would most definitely precede a "Honey we TALKED about this YESTERDAY!" If I had forgotten myself and asked the first question, I would most definitely save myself with a "oooohh yeah that, I'm sorry I didn't realize what time it was I should get ready too." That usually works until I have finished with my shower and i'm in the closest wracking my brain trying to figure out what's going on and what the appropriate attire would be. There's a secret to that one too. "Hey did you have something particular in mind that I should wear? Did you want to match or something?" Usually that would be where I get the "Not really, were just going to my parents ya know" or a "yeah it would be nice if you wore your dark slacks and the green turtle neck" or whatever. Rarely I am totally up a creek when she would answer just wear what you usually do. Then I gotta come clean and the chris hits the fan and she starts going on that I always forget and I need to try harder and blah blah blah.

It's almost better to just go out in the slacks and the sweater and get a "are you seriously gonna wear that?"

"Too much?" I answer.

"uh yeah, we're just going to Joplin to do some Christmas shopping"

"Well... um.. I felt like dressing up"

think outside of the (mail)box

2006-11-21T15:57:00.000-06:00

For the sixth time now, others have decided that we really didn't have a use for a mailbox. However hard we beg to differ, the result is still the same: a crushed box, a broken post, and a disgruntled father-in-law who has to come over and dig a new post hole or try to salvage the old one.

I called the post office to declare my misfortune and ask for possible solutions. One of the biggest problems that we faced is that the driver would be heading west on the road I live on. That means the mailbox would have to be on the north side of the road. We live on the south. The box is on property that I'm not sure that I have the right to modify and even if I could, the ditch is too deep and steep to do anything.

After listening to many that I couldn't do, (i.e. build the ditch bigger and offset the box from the road) I offered one. It was simply to put the box inside the drive closer to the house and farther from danger. This was disregarded almost immediately because of regulations. Unless there is a doctors order that health was in danger there would be no house delivery. I explained that it wouldn't be house delivery and that the driver would not have to reverse out of the driveway because of the circle drive. Still regulations state that only if a doctor certified heath risk was involved would a driver be obligated to pull into a driveway at all.

SO the only way outta this is gleamingly clear.

Dig yet another hole, erect a post, set a box to the top, and then Duct Tape a possum to the mailbox.

CLEARLY there would be a health risk to the opossum the next time the box gets creamed, any doctor can see that. In addition anyone delivering and receiving mail would scare it enough that the animal would "play dead" and no harm would delivered and or received by the creature.

Anyway you look at it, it's almost a win-win situation for everyone.... except the possum.

Then with the health risk of the poor little rat-like, stinky, ugly, make your dogs bark at two in the morning til their throats are raw type creature, OF COURSE the post office will let me build a box inside the driveway. And if they don't, well that will be a sight to see the next time the box gets bashed

Can't blame me

2006-11-08T21:33:00.000-06:00

I voted.

did you?

I am freezing

2006-11-03T20:20:00.000-06:00

And I don't wanna hear any "you think THAT"S cold, well blah blah..."

Whatever, I'm freezing. But the furnace is staying OFF. Beloved wouldn't let me turn the AC on in September when I was so hot I had to stand in front of the refrigerator to cool down, so she can wait till December. The only backfire to this is that her ice cold nose has been finding it's way to the back of my neck, making me jump outta my skin. NOT cool.

Anyhoo....

Beloved was reading my blog and noticed that all I talk about anymore is boring stuff like the puppies (with the exception of the turtle incident which she wasn't all excited about). I happen to think that the puppies are far from boring and make for wonderful conversation.... but as I read what I type I realize that I'm not all that far from someone who would personify a pet to excess. EX: I was over at a friends house the other day and their dog went ape. My friends dad grabbed the animal, picked it up and said "oh that's sucha bad puppy! YES YOU ARE!! Now you apologize, come on say your sorry! Say your sorry! come on!"

I half expected for the dog to look at me any say "Look dude, my bad. I didn't recognize you and honestly you do somewhat smell like bacon".

My dogs go ape, they get smacked. nuff said.

SO the idea that this session was NOT going to be about my dogs, I'll pull a subject change and talk about something else.

let's see...

I have a shoe horn.

I think it's from the Shoe Carnival... because is says Shoe Carnival on it.

That would be a good clue.

I only bring this up not because I use it often, but because it's right here on the computer desk and I'm looking at it. It's here because that's where I put it after I frantically searched for it and couldn't find it; so now I know where it is next time i need it. What did I need it for? This week I killed my fourth scorpion with it. Well the first one was outside and that one was killed with a rock. Two others have come up through drains and have been shoe horned. The one this week was polite enough to use the front door. It's still got shoe horned. I like the shoe horn approach because WHO DOES THAT??? Also because a massive case of aftermath heebeegeebees can be averted that way and......

Ok speaking of heebeegeebees, a slight case is setting in right now so I'm gonna change the subject.

or just quit here and think happy thoughts....

yeah I think I'll do that.

Motivated and typing

2006-10-19T20:22:00.000-05:00

So I think I left off with a skunk in the corner of the garage and fire in the mind. Well I lost interest in the telling it so in short I brought the fire kettle shown here in the garage, put it under a spot where the ceiling was the highest and had a little blaze going. In about an hour the skunk smell was gone replaced by the beautiful smell of cedar and pine smoke, and the skunk was half out of it when I went to "persuade" it with a golf club to leave my garage. I read about the energy animals can sense from a person in Cesar Milan's book. I guess it does work. I went in with no aggression and no fear and i pretty much scooped it out with a rake and a three iron.

So how do ya ground a dog? Today Charley decided that he was going to go on a walk with a neighbor as she was passing by. Try as she could she couldn't get him to stay home so together they went for three miles down to the lake and back. During the excursion I got home from work and was warmly greeted by our other puppy named Lucy. Until then I had yet to see one dog without the other so I did the only logical thing that one could do....

Yeah I totally freaked out.

Long story short we were in the jeep ready to go looking and here the neighbor lady comes with Charley right beside her trotting down the road without a care in the world. She said he was great.

What I said to the dog:
You little punk what were you thinking? I was freakin out! I'm not playin, dog!

What he heard:
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah play

What's ironic is I think that's the same thing I heard when I was getting chewed out by my parents in high school. Anyway the dog is back and there was much rejoicing in the Land.

Belated

2006-10-01T21:01:00.000-05:00

Hi, how are ya? It's been a bit since we have talked. Sorry about that. My bad. All sorts of stuff to talk about but never the time. Even if I had the time I have had very little motivation. But now I have both!

SO....
what to talk about..

I just had a very memorable weekend in Sabetha Kansas. I found that reading some Dr. Suess books as fast as you can can be a very rewarding experience. Just so you know I AM Mr. Pick-up-sticks and the grand champion of hide-and-seek. I did get my rear end handed to me in the memory game, but those 4 year old girls are ruthless. I have recently come to find out that that there was some cheating as certain marks and creases on the backs of certain cards were memorized well before hand. But all's well that ends well.

In other news there was another fire nearby but as things would be I didn't start it. A neighbor a mile or so west (who isn't the brightest bulb on the block) decided that a gusty day and on one of the driest months out of the year thought it would be a grand idea if he would try a controlled burn. Yeah that didn't quite work out like he planned.... Imagine that. The burn, powered by pretty good winds, took three fields. As I was getting home from work I pulled into my drive to see a red pickup leaving my backyard and entering the driveway at a fairly high rate of speed. I blocked the driveway to stop him and ask him what he thought he was doing, but it was a fireman in an unmarked truck that said the blaze hadn't came though the trees yet.

The first thought was "oh..... I guess that's good."

Second thought was "WHAT BLAZE?"

All said and done I am proud of our volunteer rural fire department. No houses damaged although the ones closest got within a couple feet. The wind was going just right that it flared up again behind our house. Again I am very thankful for a great rural fire department.

What else?

New Scores are out:
Chris:1
Skunk:0
Dogs:-50

We wake up the other day to a series of very urgent barks and a yelp. I wasn't left to wonder what happened for very long when I went to the garage and smelled our very unwelcome visitor. I mistakenly later told Janelle that we HAD (past tense) a skunk because I smelled him in the garage and on the dogs. After she left and I was going to my car, I noticed the roll of carpet in the corner kinda wobble. I walked over to see what was going on and there he was, and there I went. Fastest 180 in the west. I opened the door and waited a while. When I went back out I didn't see him so I got in the car and left. I gave my beloved a call to let her know not to park in the garage and proceeded with my day. When I got back my love told me that the dogs had been guarding a corner of the garage. Peeking under some Jeep seats I saw it, quite content and very unreachable to the dogs. SO only thing to do, build a fire in the garage. (it was a very calm day and there's no wind in the garage anyway). For all those who are scrolling up to see what I called the neighbor who decided he wanted to play with fire too, I would like for you to keep one very important thing in mind; if I were to accidentally burn the house down, it would've happened by now.

ANYWAY I'm getting tired of typing and it's getting late so I think I'm gonna finish this tomorrow.

Light clothing

2006-09-08T11:23:00.000-05:00

2006-08-04T18:26:00.000-05:00

There once was a teacher that told her class that it was impossible for a human to be swallowed by a whale. That although it's mouth was huge; it's throat was to small for a human to fit through.

A small child spoke up and answered that Jonah had indeed been swallowed by a whale.

The teacher sharply replied to the child that she was wrong and it was scientifically impossible.

The child again answered "Well then when I get to heaven, I'll ask Jonah what really happened."

The Teacher harshly replied "What if he goes to hell?"

With out missing a beat the child said "Then you can ask him."

Of aldermans and elderberries

2006-08-02T15:13:00.000-05:00

Do you think that the aldermen are crooked? Ed mostly smoked and told stories of other men hehad taken out. Suffice it to say that the whole thing is not only certain, but itis GUARANTEED. And with it, as his own share, a broad and kindly humanindifference that never means to offend. They often are crooked enough, I admitted, in fact, very often apack of bums. Thefood up here is always such a question. I realize that my friendstroubles always take the form of an angular imprisonment. We drove in our own carall down the valley of that big river. Take it, Ed, says he, I wont be wearing it. We were seated side by side in chairs in the hotel rotunda. It was called The Triumphal Progress of Science. Im afraid, I said, that I dont know anything about it. Richardson also got rid of his landing net onthe trip. The Pullman Man opened up a newspaper and lit a cigar. Then he lit his pipe, quietly and firmly, to lend emphasis to whathe was going to say. I see, he said, where thisguy Mussolini is getting busy again. It was really quite a triumph for my husband making the coursehere. In fact, we were quite a cosmopolitan crowd. And did you get on all right with the Germans? I done it for him, answered Ed, just the way I landed yours. ButI beg your pardon, he added, Im interrupting you. Well, I dont know, said the man who spoke just before. ButI beg your pardon, he added, Im interrupting you. So we have never botheredto think about amusements. By some incurableoptimism, he really thinks so. How do you think things will begin to shape for the election? I thought, he continued, that Id trace it down from early timesand show the way it has come on. How did that last Atlantic flight suit you? We spent thus a pleasant half hour in discourse together. How do you think things will begin to shape for the election? I said, and the people are sointeresting. But no doubt the Man with the Adventure Story is still telling itsomewhere, somehow, to somebody. I spent most of my time in carrying the canoe, lighting fires, andwashing dishes. I hope youre going to make some use ofit. They got me stung to speak at thiscursed banquet to-night on Our Country. He would never stop me in the rain, or the sleet.

Suffice it to say that what has been sufficent has sufficed.

Mr Green, the lead pipe, in the ballroom.

2006-07-25T21:50:00.002-05:00

I have not given up on you and I hope that you have not given up on me. The reason that I have not had time to ramble on is that is has been a long time since I have had to wait for beloved. She left her job in KC cause the drive was getting to her and the lack of time we had together was wearing on us. She actually found a job doing hospice care here in bourbon county. So we are really excited to get our evenings back. We have had almost a month now where she has been between jobs and home in the evenings which we have filled with aggressive games of clue. I haven't been able to prove it yet and she denies it, but I KNOW she cheats.

Anyway my point here is pretty much no more waiting for beloved SO we're gonna have to think of something else to call this. Preferably something to do with my beloved but not something that will motivate her to fix creamed spinach every night til I change it. Side note: to those of you that are wondering whats wrong with that; there is something wrong with you.

News bulletin (at least for me) my little brother has now joined the work force and is hitting 40 hours a week this summer. Kudos. Also I'm wiping away a tear of joy and pride as I announce that my little sister got up on a wakeboard last week. Yeah Liv you rock.

Not a whole lot else is new around here.

I bout made Janelle freak when I balanced in one of the trees last weekend with the chainsaw. There were some limbs kinda high and off of the main trunk that "needed" cut. As she saw me cutting she had decided that trimming some of the dead limbs off wasn't as important as she thought. It got me thinking what other household activities that I could use the chainsaw for that I could get out of. Like taking out the trash. If something doesn't all fit in the burn barrel.........er I mean... um... RECYCLING BARREL... then I could trim off the edges right?

Closing thought:

Did you know that if you were a migratory bird you would have to almost double your weight before you left? Yeah, whoa! Something to think about.

So....

2006-07-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

I was talkin to a friend of mine and he was like "yeah even though yer like a thousand miles away, it's good to keep up with you through your blog..... OH WAIT, NEVERMIND." and I was like "oh yeah I got one of those".

MY BAD

So what's new here? Let's see :

I found that in order to give the puppies a bath, one needs really good reflexes.

A deer that lived close by had an unhealthy crush on the car. I guess the car wasn't ready for a relationship and that whole situation ended up kinda bad. Did you know that a 150 pound deer carcass will disappear in the Kansas wild country in two days?

One cup of bleach and a gallon of water will cure just about anything that's growin on the house.

One cup of dish soap and 1/4 cup of glycerine and 12 cups of water make one heck of a bubble.

and last of all, I had my first family members from Illinois come out to visit since me and my beloved got married. Ed and Bonnie, we had a blast. We hope you guys come out again soon.

We leave tomorrow morning

2006-05-19T18:27:00.000-05:00

But until then I stay here, bored and waiting for beloved to get home.

SO!

I got bored today. So I invited a friend over. Actually I didn't invite him, I found him. So I picked him up and brought him inside to play!

Meet Toby. He's my new friend.

We had lunch together.

But he kinda turned up his nose at it....

so then I pretended to put him in the Garbage disposal.

I'm not sure if he thought it was funny, but I thought it was.

The I turned on the oven and started to sing "home, home on the range"

Again as I heard no laughter, and as he sunk deeper into his shell, I seriously doubted it this turtle had any sense of humor.

anyhoo.

This is what toby looks right side up.

This is what he looks like upside down.

I hear that if you moisten the underside of a turtle, they act like a natural suction cup. But as the oven and the garbage disposal didn't go over all that great, I decied it was best not to try.

Sensing that my guest was bored I offered a game of tri-ominos. Word to the wise- NEVER ask a turtle to play a game of tri-ominos.

HE beat the tar outta me AND drank my last dr pepper.

After winning he got his choice of movie to watch. His favorite movie was "master of disguise" I think we watched the turtle club part over and over a million times.

After the movie I showed him my blog. Yeah he said I was cool.

We were watching for wildlife on the back thirty five acres.....(I think he was scoping for turtle hotties)

when he asked me if we could go for a jeep ride, I said that it would be fine.

In the end I think we had a great day.

Luke demands

2006-05-14T14:55:00.000-05:00

therefore I post.

So I'm posting.

This is me posting.

I post.

seriously I've got nuthin.
I wasn't gonna post til I had something to post about.

um.....

After the massive rains there's been water on the front yard for so long that there's moss growing in parts of it now.

I shot a spider yesterday. It rivaled the one I saw and killed at sekan when I first moved here.

I think we lost three pine trees in the brush fire we started. Yeah, it was worth it.

The dogs haven't taken to expanding their vocabulary very well. They kinda got stuck on "bark". Although their pronounciation is improving greatly.

I think I'm gonna go play with the chainsaw this afternoon. I think I'd be a good lumberjack, I got tons of flannel shirts and wool socks.

Janelles working today so I might go over to thayers house and play with his new xbox 360. At least until supper, then I'm gonna come home and eat chocolate cake.

Yesterday I had chocolate cake for breakfast, and then I had chocolate cake for lunch, and then I had chocolate cake for supper. Yeah, Janelle was working yesterday too. The cake was the only consolation I had.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!!

The puppies wouldn't go to bed last night, they got way to hyper. (no idea where they get it from). So I went outside and swatted them both and chucked them into their box. I held them down til they quit struggling and then I rubbed their tummies (yeah I just said tummies, wanna make something of it?) til they calmed down. If they tried playing I just swatted them in the head.

It worked pretty good.

I bet that works with kids to.

Someone try that one out and tell me how it goes.

Someone also needs to tell Dennis Rocke hi.

and Tim Hohulin.

and like everybody in Roanoke.

hi guys.

Huge hihowareya goin out to mike and deb in colorado. Hey I thought of you when I used the wench the other day. I high centered the jeep on some rocks messing around on the property. There was a select few wedding presents that I claimed and told janelle that I loved her with all my heart but she would have to go get her own. That was one of them. I told her she could have almost everything else.

Thats all I have.
I'm go gonna get some cake.

The truth as I remember it

2006-05-04T05:05:00.000-05:00

Well, ask yourselves this, is it more fun to mow a lawn, or to burn stuff? If someone said mow lawns, then i pity you and you need to come over to my house when the wife isn't home and we'll play with matches together.

Of course to all other REGULAR people out there like me with the "pyros" label that society so unfortunate slapped us with; (just cause we think fire is cool doesn't mean that we want to set the world on fire..... kinda ) would say different.

Question: try and bushwack an over grown area or burn it.

Yeah that's a hard one.

Actually with the help of my father in law and my wife's two brothers we kept it pretty much under control almost the entire time. We might of lost a pine tree but I think it might pull through. Anyhoo....

But today is a different story, we are finishing up a week solid of rain and now instead of a yard
we have a lake.

Yesterday was one of the nastier storms that we have had. Some of the hail even knocked a hole in our gutters.

Right now I hear thunder. I don't think the storms are done yet. It's all good though, we are seriously behind on rain.

awake... kinda

2006-04-29T05:18:00.000-05:00

It's been a bit since my last five in the morning post being up at 4:30 makes me question the sanity of people who do this by choice instead of by necessity. Especially old people, why when I was your age, i had to go wake the rooster up so he could crow! Then after that, we when out and killed our breakfast. Do you youngens some good to kill your breakfast now and again.. BUILDS CHARACTER!! why.......um.... i........uh...zzzzzzzzzzz.

any who it's been a couple weeks since my last post and we got some catching up to do....

First off before I show the first picture I need the public to know that this wasn't my fault. But at the same time EXTREAMLY cool to see the front lawn engulfed in flames. I'm too tired to go into detail. Maybe later.

AND OF COURSE there is the puppies at two months and 24 days old.

almost getting to big to hold... almost.
again that's lucy on the left at 15lbs and charlie on the right at 17lbs.

both are sleeping right now and so should I be.
I'm going back to bed.

new arrivals

2006-03-29T18:01:00.000-06:00

Meet Charlie and Lucy

This is lucy at seven weeks old weighing in at 8 pounds

and this is charlie at seven weeks and weighing in at 10 pounds.

A brother and sister that have never been apart from each other.

Some of my favorite moments of my days are now spent on the back porch with two puppies who have had a big day.

possum on the porch

2006-03-21T20:59:00.000-06:00

thars a possum on the porch again
I think he wunts ta be ma friend
if only I could speak like he
I'd ask which way he liked ta be
grilled or skewered

but if'n id be thinkin fast
he just might notta gotten past
the light from the back porch dim
a shot i didn't even get at him
fer the gun was in the den
and time I got it aimed at hem
he'sa gone

maybe id wuz fer the better
fer if'n I did pull that tragger
there'd be a big hole thet the 12 gauge leave
and not much meat fer me to heave
on the grill
to 'et my fill
of that possum

truth be told that pity had not stayed the hand of my vengeance of the vermin, but the lack of a shell to load the aforementioned gun that would properly do the trick without "blowing up" the foul pest. For a two and three quarter shell was in reach but twas a high brass turkey load. Far too much concentrated power for as much as was needed to do the job properly and instead a low brass was preferred so off to the garage I went and loaded my gun but by the time the stock was rested to my shoulder and my eye to the sight, he had disappeared into the brush.

Next time my ugly little friend,
next time.

Because I'm in a mood

2006-03-14T20:06:00.000-06:00

Things that annoy me

people who say one thing and do another.

dogs who only bark after 2 in the morning

neighbors dogs who believe that everything in and on my property is INSIDE their territory and should be marked accordingly

BURN BANS

people who flick cigarettes out the window that start LOTS of rather large prairie fires that cause burn bans

being outta dr pepper

redundancy, redundancy, and redundancy

giddy people at unearthly times in the morning

losing my wallet 5 times a stinkin day

going into the house with my keys in hand while looking for my wallet and upon finding my wallet, realizing that somewhere along the line I put my keys down and now I have to look for that

county road workers in general
specifically their desire to mutilate any living thing within 5 yards of the road regardless of who's property it is and what it's making the trees look like. If there were clean cuts on them I wouldn't mind them cutting my trees back, but when it looks like they were swinging a heavy chain to see what kind of damage would happen they can take the splintered remains and shove them in their exhaust pipes.

walmart greeters who wont greet me

AND MOST OF ALL....
people who complain alot.

I'll think of more later

Brad... thank you.

2006-03-06T20:07:00.000-06:00

Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out,
they are invisible.

P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

My dad sent this to me

2006-03-02T10:33:00.000-06:00

Most of the time this blog has been used for an outlet of steam, a place to goof off or share or even just to let my imagination go for a little bit. But today I read this mail from my dad. As I read it, it made me want to post it.

so I did.
read every word.

Things that make you think a little:

There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq in January.
In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the
month of January. That's just one American city,
about as deadly as the entire war-torn country of Iraq.

When some claim that President Bush shouldn't
have started this war, state the following:

a. FDR led us into World War II.

b. Germany never attacked us; Japan did.
From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost ..
an average of 112,500 per year.

c. Truman finished that war and started one in Korea.
North Korea never attacked us...
From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost ..
an average of 18,334 per year.

d John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam conflict in 1962.
Vietnam never attacked us.

e. Johnson turned Vietnam into a quagmire.
From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost .
an average of 5,800 per year.

f. Clinton went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent.
Bosnia never attacked us.
He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three
times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on
multiple occasions.

g. In the years since terrorists attacked us , President Bush
has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled
al-Qaida, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran, and, North
Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who
slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.

The Democrats are complaining
about how long the war is taking.
But
It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno
to take the Branch Davidian compound.
That was a 51-day operation..

We've been looking for evidence for chemical weapons
in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find
the Rose Law Firm billing records.

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the
Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard
than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his
Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick.

It took less time to take Iraq than it took
to count the votes in Florida!!!!

Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB!
The Military morale is high!

The biased media hopes we are too ignorant
to realize the facts

JOHN GLENN (ON THE SENATE FLOOR)

Some people still don't understand why military personnel
do what they do for a living. This exchange between
Senators John Glenn and Senator Howard Metzenbaum
is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive
impromptu speech, but it's also a good example of one
man's explanation of why men and women in the armed
services do what they do for a living.

This IS a typical, though sad, example of what
some who have never served think of the military.

Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn):
"How can you run for Senate
when you've never held a real job?"

Senator Glenn (D-Ohio):
"I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps.
I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions.
My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different
occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my
checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was
not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the
daily cash receipts to the bank."

"I ask you to go with me ... as I went the other day...
to a veteran's hospital and look those men ..
with their mangled bodies . in the eye, and tell THEM
they didn't hold a job!

You go with me to the Space Program at NASA
and go, as I have gone, to the widows and Orphans
of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee...
and you look those kids in the eye and tell them
that their DADS didn't hold a job.

You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in
Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends
buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch
those waving flags.

You stand there, and you think about this nation,
and you tell ME that those people didn't have a job?

What about you?"

For those who don't remember .
During W.W.II, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney
representing the Communist Party in the USA.

Now he's a Senator!

If you can read this, thank a teacher.
If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.

Once again.. Insanity rules

2006-02-17T18:40:00.000-06:00

It's been a while but once again, I am waiting for beloved.... and doing a real poor job of keeping my sanity in the process.

FYI
Did you know the ends of a 12x50 bushnell binocluar screw off?

Why Excercise is bad

2006-02-13T12:15:00.000-06:00

I love this bear.

Fire night

2006-02-02T10:45:00.000-06:00

Thanks to Jerry and Maria Bahr for the fire kettle. Awesome wedding present!

Once again I held my annual Fire night. (i.e. burn the trash night, but dont tell alan) The sky was so clear and the colors that the fire was making on the ground were so neat I had to get some pictures to try out the new nikon we just got.

Makin Jeep trails

2006-01-23T12:48:00.000-06:00

and memoies.
Conversatoin overheard in the Jeep while making trails on the property:

Janelle: Hey something smells really good out here...

Chris: what is it?

Janelle: I think it was that tree you just ran over.

Chris: oh...

Life is so good.

THE TRUTH COMES OUT!!!

2006-01-23T12:30:00.000-06:00

After some REAL researching I have found the REALLY REAL answer to all my questions.

The Slogan was actually a smear campagine on the part of pepsi. A very intricate plan to quash the far superior Dr Pepper. The One Nation slogan was pass through a panel of people who found it quite disturbing that Pepsi would do such a thing. So they started the internet rumor saying they did it while fabricating the Dr Pepper site that Miss Heiniger so CONVIENTLY found. So people would think bad of pepsi just long enough to have their conscience pricked when finding out the so called "truth".

but alas I will not fall into such a well layed out trap. NO not I. for in digging I have fourd the preliminary cans of the pepsi smear campagine. This was found to be not so believeable so they switched to the current lie of "One Nation..." theme.
here it is.

sounds just like a lot of people I know....

I bet Dr Pepper wouldn't do this...

2006-01-17T19:16:00.000-06:00

I just got this on e-mail... Interesting.

I don't gotta worry bout this one cause I am ever faithful to the pepper.

DON'T BUY PEPSI IN THE NEW CAN!
Don't buy Pepsi in the new can. Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can
coming out with pictures of the Empire State Building, and the
Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little
words on the pledge, "Under God." Pepsi said they didn't want
to offend anyone.
In that case, we don't want to offend anyone at the
Pepsi corporate office, either.. So if we don't buy
any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when
they don't receive our money that has the words
"In God We Trust" on it.

So fellow believers... Time to make a switch?
Make it Dr Pepper.
:)

Five Ton Fly Wheel

2006-01-06T17:03:00.000-06:00

Stuff said about the new job: It's kinda like how you eat an elephant (or an elephino): one bite at a time.

Well yesterday made me think of the play "The Death of a Salesman" and I pretty sure the fly wheel moved backwards and the elephant took a bite out of me. Mom never said ANYTHING about days like these .

BUT TODAY I felt like I coulda been selling air and people would of hunted me down to get some. Crazyness.

Anyhoo. I like my new Job, I like my suit and tie. AND GET THIS.....
(are you ready?)

I'M SHAVING LIKE EVERY MORNING!!!!!!

yeah I know, wild.

Leaving a Legacy

2005-12-30T10:31:00.000-06:00

Today I leave my desk job at sekan, and trade if in for a briefcase and a necktie. I knew that his day was coming but is still kinda sad, kinda. Knowing that I was coming to my last day soon It been kind of releasing. Anyhoo My legacy that I leave is NOT that of a hard working employee, is NOT that of diligence or dedication. Is is that of a Dr Pepper.
I tell you what, the guy who takes my place has big shoes to fill.

Today coworkers have brought in Dr Pepper cookies, Dr Pepper cake, Dr Pepper cracker spread, and Dr Pepper choclate chip bars. All homemade with Dr Pepper.
I shoulda quit a long time ago.

Code

2005-12-29T08:50:00.000-06:00

Got this in email today.

>Traddless house is one of the very houses - or it easily may have spectacles in despair, and rubbed her nose with them. walks. It is a large house; but Traddles keeps his papers in his them; thus they wear their time away, from year to year. were at no loss to distinguish the bell-like notes of that gifted
>a yard-measure in a little house, and a work-box with a picture of laughing; and the more she laughed the more she made me laugh, and steady scholars and good fellows; there are three of the girls Agnes our eldest child left her doll in a chair to represent her, you learn that Agnes is not unhappy in any attachment.
>Mr. Peggotty, with a smile, put his hand in his breast-pocket, and the greater Mr. Peggottys ecstasy became, and the more he rubbed chair, and we both leaned over her. My aunt, with one clap of her left them full of joy; and drove away together. Clasped in my his head in his mothers lap to be out of harms way, and little
>think of our little parlour at home, when I could scarcely walk. You have a secret, said I. Let me share it, Agnes. If youll believe me, returned Mr. Peggotty, Missis Gummidge, It was a pleasant key to touch, for Mr. Peggotty suddenly burst if you could see my Emly now, Masr Davy, whether youd know
>I had advanced in fame and fortune, my domestic joy was perfect, I adorn the gratifying scene, Mrs. RIDGER BEGS late Miss Micawber; - no new one; and is - not what you suppose. I cannot reveal it, stately house, and mighty company, and sumptuous dinners every day, young girls wedding and shes done a many, but has never seen
>had run to bring him in, and I had not yet clearly seen his face, She was up in my study, Peggotty said: which it was her pride to lighted parlour downstairs, at dinner. My aunt put on her And now my written story ends. I look back, once more - for the Here is my aunt, in stronger spectacles, an old woman of four-score
>I keep it from her arter I heard on t, said Mr. Peggotty, going hated everybody, it produced some commotion. One of our boys laid on nigh a year. We was living then in a solitary place, but among illness among em, and she took care of them; and there was the The cheeks and arms of Peggotty, so hard and red in my childish
>Dictionary somewhere about the letter D, and happy in his home life. I have never knowd her to be lone and lorn, for a single themselves until Sol gave warning for departure, Wilkins Micawber, Except the Beauty, says Traddles. Yes. It was very unfortunate her saying of her prayers at night, tother side the canvas screen,
>Her impatient attendant scolds her, tells her I am not in mourning, I was copying the plain inscription for him at his request, I saw I found, on glancing at the remaining contents of the newspaper, If youll believe me, returned Mr. Peggotty, Missis Gummidge, fourth daughter of Doctor Mell, were particularly remarkable.
>Traddless house is one of the very houses - or it easily may have spectacles in despair, and rubbed her nose with them. walks. It is a large house; but Traddles keeps his papers in his them; thus they wear their time away, from year to year. were at no loss to distinguish the bell-like notes of that gifted
>a yard-measure in a little house, and a work-box with a picture of laughing; and the more she laughed the more she made me laugh, and steady scholars and good fellows; there are three of the girls Agnes our eldest child left her doll in a chair to represent her, you learn that Agnes is not unhappy in any attachment. My aunt, with one clap of her left them full of joy; and drove away together. Clasped in my his head in his mothers lap to be out of harms way, and little......

it think it's trying to say something.

WHAT IS IT BOY?? DID TIMMY FALL IN THE WELL??

or this could be some kind of brain washing pot to seize control of the voting public through means of mass junk mailings cause you KNOW people read their junk mail,
or not.

Wait I hear a voice in my head!!
I knew it!
It's saying.... do not back up, severe tire damage.
I think the brainwashing element broke in this one.

HHHEEEEEEEEEEYYYY!!!!!!
Know what?
tomorrow is the start of a four day streak that beloved will be home.
Three days a week can feel like a lifetime sometimes but she loves her job and I love her and this makes her happy so I'm excited. I'm just more excited when she comes home.

No rattle snake sightings...... yet. But I did get final permission on a 4-10 handgun (like a mini shotgun) to pop the little suckers off as i see them. SPEAKING OF ANIMALS, just outta wondering we had a gallon of milk go bad, and I wondered if the creatures of the night were still coming around. So I cut off top of the Jug and put it on the edge of the property and when I checked it the next day, 3/4 of it was gone. Something was thirsty. I should put out beer and see if I cant get what ever it is out there to pass out so I can see it in the morning... I just hope it isn't my neighbor... or his dog....
actually I don't really like his dog.
anyway we'll see what we can see.

Now if you will excuse me, there is a voice in my head asking for a Dr Pepper to go with my breakfast burritos.

One Question...

2005-12-16T16:37:00.000-06:00

....that keeps on getting asked.
Probably will be for the next couple years

"So.. how's the married life treating you."

Every day I wonder how it could possibly be better.

And every day I find out how.

Love, what is that?

Love is be able to be honest when it will hurt.
Love is being able to take honesty when it hurts.
Love is having a really nasty day, and after the frist five minutes of being home with her, I forget that I even went to work that day.
Love is filling up the car the night before so she will have a full tank of gas in the morning.
Love is starting up the car at four in the morning to warm it up before she leaves, and after watching her pull away, spend the next fifteen praying to God that He would bring her back to me, safely.
Love is hearing the garage door open at 9:15 (17 hours later) and having my heart leap to my throat knowing my beloved is home, even after three months.

Love is knowing that she's home right now, waiting for me.
and it's five oclock, and I'm probably gonna break the sound barrier getting home.

how's married life?
well...
I'd say I'm in love and it's all good.

It's for her too...... Really

2005-12-14T17:09:00.000-06:00

We went Christmas shopping in the Ozarks last weekend. It was fun, Kinda. It was Mom and Dad in law, Beloved, and me. We left the night before and stayed in a hotel which was fun (dukes of hazzard was on cable) and in the morning we went to this one shopping center what was absolutely huge. I don't know the name of it but it was all outdoors. Anyhoo we paired off, Me and the Dad went one way and her and her Mom the other.

I had NO IDEA their could be so many clothing stores in one place. I mean really, how many different kinds of clothes does one need. Unbelievable. I think it's another one of those "have to be a woman to understand" type things. So outta the 113 stores me and the Dad found three while I'm sure the Ladies passed through just about every door there.

First The golf store which I found a great putter for my beloved and since she doesn't golf, I'm sure that she wouldn't mind I borrowed now and then. Dad thought is was a great Idea, and said he'd have to borrow it too. We'll see about that.

After that we went to the tool store where I was tempted almost beyond what I was given the grace to withstand. There was a crescent wrench there that had to be three feet long and probably 40 pounds. A tear came to my eye and I just held it for a little bit. Dad said that she'd probably be content with the putter and that I'd better not splurge too much as to not make her feel bad on what she spent on me. Reluctantly I said my good bye's while I backed away and sadly exited the store.

THEN CAME THE BOSE STORE....
(store echoes and fades)
(pause for effect)

I sit here speechless.
Out of conviction, I had to get an affirmation BEFORE the purchase on this one... of course we'd have to re-finance the house with the promise of the indentured servitude of our first born but hey..... the price ya gotta pay right?
she said no.
I said 0% financing
she said no
I said Dad says it's ok if I get one
(which he did and I had his full support and long as he could come over when ever he wanted)
she said no
I said what if I get it FOR YOU.
she said no

I still think is because she didn't sit in on the bose demonstration.
That lasted for a half hour and promptly afterward The Dad said "Mine".
I said "Mine too...... if beloved says it's ok"

I hope she likes the putter.

Five AM

2005-12-08T05:04:00.000-06:00

And I have been up for an hour. Beloved Just left in the jeep, and really excited by the way. Her dad just put on some fairly aggressive tires on her jeep yesterday because of the new snow. I have to admit that I would be giddy too. Those are cool tires. Even if she does hit some ice and go in the ditch, she still is gonna get to work and probably on time, even if she doesnt get back on the road. :) Hard to be jelious when I got a jeep sittin in the garage too, I just don't have one with those kind of tires. Like we have to be careful where we park that thing in the garage because we might loose things in the treads.... like the Saturn.

all said and done, I still sit here.
I still sit here, all said and done.
I was asked to be an hour early to work this morning so I think it's better if I don't try to get back to sleep just to wake up again so what do I do. Probably shut all the lights out inside and turn on the outside lights and admire all the new fallen snow. It's still softly coming down, forming a beautiful white blanket over everything. I hate to tear up the backyard now which is fine. There is plenty of land to the west of the house in the trees that I can make trails in.

All SAID AND DONE I STILL HERE.
still sitting here, all said and done.
Sitting in wonderment, baffeled that I'm not going back to bed. Argueing with myself saying that the bed is calling but I relpy to me saying that in just an hour I will be getting ready for work.

Fine, I'll stay up..... jerk.

I should make some phone calls to see who else is up.
The voice in my head is telling me I shouldn't, but another voice is telling me that I should, and another voice is telling me that icecream is most definately a breakfast option and yet another voice is telling me that I really shouldn't be talking about all the voices in my head.

I think I'll turn off all the lights and look at the snow outside.

or not.

ya know there a very select few things to do at five in the morning that are worth doing.

I need a dr pepper....

and a flamethrower.

But a dr pepper would do for now.

What's new?

2005-12-07T16:04:00.000-06:00

It snowed this morning. Like a lot.
Like it's still going.

and I CANNOT WAIT til I get home to play in the jeep in the backyard and stuff.
Last winter the oil pan was broke and the gas tank was messed up.

now.. after a minor mishap over laborday NOT to mention any names **cough** jakesajerk **cough**
it's runnin almost fine and its time to go have some fun.

Hey know what?

2005-12-05T16:08:00.000-06:00

My dad Just started a blog.
How cool is that?

http://dadwjw.blogspot.com/

bet you wish your dad was that cool.

red letter day

2005-12-02T18:12:00.000-06:00

No seriously.
Today is like a pivotal point in my life.

today I start posting from HOME!!

This is so cool.

ok now that the newness of this is worn off...

My beloved gave me a list today of things to get at the store.
A most unpleasant experience.
I'd rather be cutting down trees and burning various things but I guess this is what is called a compromise, she tells me something and I do it.
So i went to the store. The list really wasn't that big and the bill was under thirty dollars but still, asking a guy to do this.... just wasn't right.

SO, first step.
Find a cart. I seriously hate pushing one of these things around, especially when I know that I am going to wondering around for the next hour. Like I wanna push that around for that long. So I find the middle of the store and park it there.

For the next hour and a half I walk through the store, dazed and confused wondering why I found the orange juice in the dairy by the beer or wondering why the sausage links aren't really by the deli. Yes I'm sure if you are a woman and reading this you're thinkin "well duh! where else would you put it?" and you pretty much have the layout of every grocery store memorized.
Yeah well guess what, I'm not a woman. You can trust me on this one, I may scream like one when I see a rattle snake (by the way that's still a negative on that one, thank goodness) but when it comes to food marts and grocery stores forget it.

Next time when she asks and before I say "yes dear" I'm gonna lodge a complaint and have her draw me a map.

Know what

2005-11-29T14:24:00.000-06:00

Know what makes me happy?

singing horses.
singing horses make me happy.

a steady clicking finger and a good sence of timing makes all the difference.

about the flame thrower

2005-11-28T16:12:00.000-06:00

she said no.
Something about a unjustifiable purchase.
I hate it when she uses big words.
I asked her "what about the chain saw.. you let me have that."
She said "that's something you can use, something that serves a purpose"

I think a flamethrower would definately serve a purpose.
Even my dad said that it was a cool idea.. but he also mentioned that he was also on the other side of the mississippi so he wasn't too worried.

Any hoo if anyone could help me out here and come up with a couple reasons that this would be a "justifiable purchase", it would be much appreciated.

But what she didn't say is that I couldn't get it for HER for christmas and then borrow it from time to time.
man if that works.....

El Captians log

2005-11-23T10:10:00.000-06:00

I had a thought, no it didn't hurt.

How cool would it be to get a flame thrower. Seriously.
for the guy whos got everything (or just plain wants everything).
I'd be like a pyros dream.

I'd make bon fires a tad more interesting.

I could cook geese and ducks... while they are flying overhead. Falling roasted duck. I'd bet the Isrealites wouldna complained about that food falling from the sky.

Probably start one of hte largest grass fires in kansas trying to kill a rattle snake but hey, the price you pay right?

why do I get the distinct possibility that beloved is gonna say no?

Holding pattern

2005-11-16T11:47:00.000-06:00

Well...

Main server is down. (which by the way is pc platform based)

Tech support has been called but until they get back (usually 3+ hours) we are dead in the water... or since there is no water here, dead in the.... um...

anyway.

SO GUESS WHAT?!?!

I got a new toy.
Guess what uses a gas oil mix, is really loud, 16" long, and I had to call my beloved to ask permission to get?

I GOT A CHAIN SAW!!!
I'M SO HAPPY!!!

Of course I had to promise that I would at least make an effort to keep all my arms and legs and stuff. I said that I would think about it. My burning habit HAS to be maintained especially now since it's getting colder out here on the plains. Speaking of, I still havent figured out what so great about hte great plains. Anyhoo there are a BUNCHA dead trees that were to big to be pulled out with the jeep (got all those already) so what else could I do. So far I haven't fired it up yet, I just like lookin at it. It's so pretty. Beloved bought a little gas can just for me and my chain saw (she loves me) so maybe today maybe tommorow the dead trees shall feel the wrath of my chain.

My problem is htat it's kinda hard to tell what's dead and what's not when all the leaves are down. There is a ton of wood already down so I guess I can make chords with those for now.

I love new toys.

busy guy lately

2005-11-11T15:41:00.000-06:00

so busy that I can't even finish th...

tonight

2005-11-04T20:05:00.000-06:00

I'm working on livis pictures

COME TAKE A LOOK

once upon a time

2005-11-03T16:49:00.000-06:00

there was a guy who hated things that go bump in the night. I am learning that there are like a bajillion things of various sizes that do just that in and around my house.

Freakout number one.
So, I'm outside burnin stuff like usual (sorry alan a guy's gotta have his hobbies) and I hear a rustle in the hay field that's not too far away from where I am sitting. Keep in mind this was no small rustle. I was lookin into the fire so my pupils were probably about the size of pin holes. So I turn and see nothin. Absolutely nothin. I build the fire a tad bigger to see what I can see. And I see eyes lookin back at me.... at about eye level.

after refraining from screaming like a little girl. I throw a rock and the eyes disappear.

Freakout number two.
I'm changing the oil in the jeep (which by the way was great bonding time and it keeps my four wheeled friend form getting jealous) and I find that I need two more quarts of oil to complete my task. Truck is outside by the shed, I'll take that. It's about 8 oclockish. and pitch black. No lights on the shed, no lights on the house nearest the shed. Not a big deal. I walk out to the truck and again, it sounded like something felt like walking in a straight line through something else that wasn't ment to be walked a straight line in.

well I jumped into the truck and waited for my hair to lay back down and my bladder to expand back to it's original size before heading out and picking up the oil. I'm parkin in the front door step for now on.

One might think that a fear of the dark is kinda childish. I actually think it to be quite healthy thankyouverymuch!

hey um, whoa

2005-10-27T17:06:00.000-05:00

New hobby,

what can I find that burns the coolest.

There has GOT to be a support group for this kinda thing.

Yesterday I found a buncah card board tubes here at work that were gonna be thrown away.
WHAT A WASTE!! How somone could carelessly throw away something like that when I can just as easliy and carelessly and needlessly spew toxic gases and carbons into the the atomsphere. Sheesh some people. I actually took my time and did it the old fasion boy scout way. No cool boom but hey it got the job done. The tubes kinda acted like a cannon of sorts for the fire. it was kinda cool. the fire in the middle was sucking hte ari in from one end and if tilted just a hair made flames shoot about seven inches out the other end.

So tonight is the last night that I have to go with out. Soooo.. what to do.

The possibilities are seriously endless.

I could...

organize my underware drawer.... then burn something
or I could rearrange the garage and start hanging stuff on the work bench wall.... and then go burn somthing,

OOHH OOHH I need to go develope some film at walmart!!! and then I can go burn something...

I think I got everything I had on my list to do done during lunch today.
Stuff just kinda snuck (past tense of sneak) up on me.

things I forgot to do cause I was busy burning things.

pay credit card bill (yeah um... oops)
stop utitlies at apartment
take care of tags on jeep and truck.
get name and address switched on DL
get address switched on plates.
foward mail from apartment
get car insurance updated (progressive rocks!!)
get fresh coat of mud on jeep in creek bed.....

oh wait.. got that last one.

oh well. So lunch kinda took a Tad longer then usual. like.. kinda sorta an hour and a half longer then usual.

on a cool note, a pack of coyotes visited me in my back yard while I was bonfiring (I think thats what I'm gonna call my new hobby). It was wild. I love the sound of those guys, but this time it was a tad too close. Sorta freaked me out cause there were not a few of them and only one of me. So I got the shot gun.

Speakin of, my love thinks it's more important to buy a dining room table and chairs then to add another gun to the two I already have. I told her that her priorities were messed up.......

I think it's gonna be a bit til I get the gun.

No rattle snakes sighted yet.
either it's too cold for them or they heard that the rattle snake slayer came to town.

rattle snake slayer... I like it.

or as they say in spanish

el rattle snake slayer.....o

I think I'm gonna go home and burn something.

take out the trash

2005-10-21T10:15:00.000-05:00

So In moving I have found that I'm a pack rat. I have heard of worse stories then this but there was a ton of stuff that needed to be disposed. Over half of it was sensitive stuff. Bank numbers, policy numbers, IRA documents, buncha boxes., blah blah blah. Well we dont have a shredder sooo... bonfire. My father in law just just cut downa buncha dead trees so the wood was not in short supply.
:)

So finally no one is here to tell me anything like "you really shouldn't pile that wood that high" or "do you really need that much gas?" or "don't do that, there's dry grass everywhere" (actually I might of listened to that one) so I build a bonfire to be proud of.

Now I'm not the kind of boy scout that goes and finds dry twigs and starts small and builds. That takes way to much patience. I'm the kind of boy scout that went the the scout masters truck and syphoned the gas out and dumped out a couple gallons on my pile of trees and made a gas trail (writing my name in the ground of course) and lit a match and threw it.
Ahhhhh... good times.

anyhoo, I made my pile. made my puddle, made my trail, threw my match.....

it was wonderful.

I actually felt the blast.

Night was turned to day.

late fall turned to mid summer

I could see everything so clear....

Including the dry grass...

lets backtrack just a hair. The previous owners of the house had little kids. The kids had a playground in the back yard. The playground has a pretty wide area filled with woodchips with 4x4 boards forming a large border. this is where the fire is centered. Only problem is that it's filled with dry woodchips. oh well. details, details.

Funny part to me was that I couldn't burn the sensitive documents cause I couldn't get close enough to put them in. Which is not really a big deal because when I saw the that the grass had started to go, I kinda forgot about everything else.

The fire was fine, the woodchips simmered and actually smelled kinda good, it was just the gas trail kinda sorta maybe got a little to close to the grass. Like maybe on it. Like by a couple feet.

It took some dancin around but I got it out... Just in time to see that the chips had gotten past the simmering stage and started to burn too.

No biggee.

Didn't want them anyway.

All said and done. I had a blast, and when beloved got home and asked what I did, I jsut said, "well I got rid of some boxes, and um... some bank papers.... and umm... (cough)grass and gasoline(cough)".

Last night wasn't as exciting. I cleaned up some boxes and put a buncha stuff away and found a kitchen. It was great. Then I put a stereo system in said kitchen. THEEEEEENNNN I saw sommore boxes that needed to be burned...... hmmm...... I just rained.. everything is wet... less chance that something else not intended to burn would catch on fire.. which means I could possibably build a bigger one.... but then beloved got home. Maybe tonight.

time stood still today

2005-10-19T20:33:00.000-05:00

THE ONE time that I don't mind working late....

The ONE time that I'm all for workin til whatever because I know that she wont be there when I get home

THE ONE TIME...
and I was asked if I wanted to leave early if I was bored.

seriously.
this isn't funny.

I'd talk more about it but I gotta get to goin. I ordered pizza for tonight when she gets home and I wanna be there with food before she gets home.

So you'll just have to hear tomorrow about the fire that boredom built. Yeah it rocked.

Mental note for ya'll, (might wanna jot this one down somewhere)
October means dry grass.
dry grass burns like gasoline
which means that you don't really need gas in the first place...

just so you know.

The start of a new era

2005-10-19T09:48:00.000-05:00

Called waiting for my beloved to get home. It starts today with her first day back to work. One of the major decisions we had to make was where we were going to live. She loves her job at the hospital. LOVES IT. I didn't want her to give it up so I was actually getting ready to search for work in the city. But she wanted to live here in the country. We weighed the pros and cons of both and chose to live out here... In rattlesnake land. (by the way, shotgun plans are coming along just swimmingly, I'll keep ya'll posted)

So my beloved has close to an hour and a half commute followed by a 12 hour shift.

And then there is me.

home at fiveish.

waiting til 9 oclock til my beloved comes home.....

so the adventures begin.
me bored outta my mind... and allllll alone.
this could get interesting.
:)

To all who were wondering...

2005-10-18T16:35:00.000-05:00

She said "I do"

HOW COOL IS THAT!!!

And thus the evil disposal was conquerored..ed

2005-10-06T10:03:00.000-05:00

it was great. All I had to do was put it off and let it sit on the kitchen counter til my father in law put it in. And then when he finished that he when ahead and put the sink in too. How cool is that.
I wonder how many other things can work like that..
hmm.. I might just forget to mow the lawn......til 2007.

Speaking of, I think I just my have talked Janelle into getting a mossburg riot gun. http://www.mossberg.com/pcatalog/Law.htm
It's the second one down. This puppy's laying across my lap while on the ridermower in the middle of the summer. We have made the discovery that the land we have just purchased is chuck full of rattlesnakes.

well isn't that just great.

We asked the guy that comes and fills the propane tank, he said that we were in the heart of rattlesnake alley.

The stinkin heart.
we are Pilgrims in an unholy land.
and the war is starting.

I went out to my mail box yesterday and I saw a small one going across the road...
and here I thought life would be nice and slow out in the kansas country.
sheesh.

oh well

anyhoo next summer when it starts gettin warm, grab a gun and common out!
We have a shoot out.
It'll be great.
keep what ya kill.

only problem is I hear they are endangered.
well guess what..
on my land
so am I.

garbage disposal:1 / chris:0

2005-09-23T09:25:00.000-05:00

well, house is bought,
trees are trimmed,
fire pit in the backyard built,
divots from previous owners furniture somewhat repaired,
starting to fill the garage with tools and jeep parts.
15 days 2 hours 26 minutes til we walk down the isle, (give or take)
so life is good right?

hmm..

the day before yesterday and the day before that my beloved was in town cleaning the house and we decided we needed three things. new faucet fro the kitchen sink, new shower heads for the master bath, and a garbage disposal.

not a problem, I can do that.
So we head down to Pittsburgh to the home depot, the sink we wanted was outta stock, found a shower head that was nice, and a garbage disposal. Little did I know..... (shutters)

I take a look at the shower head, think no problem, go back to the apartment for some plumbers tape and we are good.

Lets take a look at our new disposal.

on instructions i read
tools needed: pliers, screwdriver, plumers putty, and wire strippers.

step one, remove old disposal.
uh..... old one?

step two: chances are your old disposal had a smart lock seal already inplace...
wait..... old? smart lock?

remove electrical wiring from old unit.....
ELECTRICAL?
lemmie check... nope no power anything under the sink. crud.

disconnect old unit by twisting old smart lock system...
we have been over this. NO OLD UNIT! what the flying snot is a smart lock?

at this point I put down directions and stare at my opponet who is sitting there smugly on the counter as if to say, "ha, welcome to joy of owning your own house pal."

Time to write some new instructions.

tools needed:
64 volt chordless drill.
1" paddle drill bit.
2 foot pipe wrench
cable cutters
wire splicers
sledge hammer
channel lock pliers
wire nuts
drywall knife
and lots of prayer

You may have won this round disposal, but I will win the war

SO...
I need a power source under the sink for starters....
Sounds like a case for guy ensim,
private eye

insanity rules

2005-09-21T15:41:00.000-05:00

Oh, this is a story 'bout a guy named chris
And he lived in a sewer with his hamster pal
But the sanitation workers really didn't approve
So he packed up his accordion and had to move
To a city in Ohio where he lived in a tree
And he worked in a nasal decongestant factory
And he played on the company bowling team
And every single night he had a strange recurring dream
Where he was using gardenhose to battle sour cream
But that's really not important to the story

Well, the very next year he met a dental hygienist
With a spatula tatooed on her arm
But he didn't keep in touch
And he lost her number
Then he got himself a job on a tator tot farm
And he spent his life-savings on a split-level cave
Twenty miles below the surface of the Earth
And he really makes a might fine jelly bean and pickle sandwich
For what it's worth

Then one day I was in the forest trying to get a tan
When I heard the tortured screaming of a funny little man
He was caught in a bear trap and I set him free
And the guy that I rescued was grateful as could be
And it turns out he had a printing company
So he gives me a job and whaddya know
now I do graphic design and scream all day at the nexus workflow

i....

must....

GET..

FREEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Cheeseburger or Chicken?

2005-09-12T13:38:00.000-05:00

Hey, I'm outside whenever you are ready.

Burger or chicken?

whats a park like you doin' at a girl like this?

and boom, an hour is gone
and just like that, my day was brightened a thousand times over.
so this is gonna be what life is like now huh?
I think I can handle that.

and then

2005-09-08T10:56:00.000-05:00

she says it.

like she said it a hundred times before

and it gets to me

everytime I hear it

to the deepest part of me

I am warmed

I am humbled

I am baffled

I am overwhelmed

I am comforted

I am speechless

from her words, from the blessing that could only come from God

and after I hang up the phone,

I cry

and I wait for 30 more days.